Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is there a gentle way to tell my husband I don't want oral sex anymore? TMI for some

To be blunt: he is really bad at it. I have rarely ever enjoyed it and have never had an orgasm from him going down on me. I can orgasm during sex, and usually do given enough time.
At first I tried giving him little hints about what I wanted. Then I went on to dirty talk and telling him more directly what would get me off. Then I showed him what I want by guiding his hand and then by masturbating in front of him. Lastly I just flat out told him the problem, told him what he can do to get me off and what he should stay away from doing.
NONE of this has worked. He still really sucks at it. I am fed up because I have spent time "perfecting" giving him oral. I've paid attention to what he likes, asked him what he likes, even read up on it and learned new tricks, and I have gotten my gag reflex way down. But he as put no effort forth in figuring out how to give me good oral. Even when I am telling and showing him exactly how!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:59 AM on Jul. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Yeah, lol I had to deal with that too. When ever he would go to town I would just switch it up. Like "no it's ok let me do you." And being a guy he would rather be pleasured so he doesn't do it anymore. Of course I don't either now. lol. Too bad so sad.. lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:25 AM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • Maybe he is not trying as hard bc he doesn't enjoy it, and doesn't want to say anything? Just like some of us don't like to give blowjobs, some men don't like to go "down under". I would try to get him to talk honestly about it, and see if that is the case. He may feel humiliated that he doesn't do it 'right' and therefore quit trying as well. I know I had an ex that I tried everything with, and he kept telling me I was doing bj's wrong. No matter what I did, we just didn't connect in that area. So finally we agreed it wasn't necessary and moved on. I think the more he critiqued me though, the worse it got. It made me nervous, like I was taking a test lol! Maybe TMI but hoping it helps :)

    Answer by Emuu at 9:13 AM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • Sounds like my dh, he thinks he knows how to do everything, and I can't tell him anything! I just tell him I don't like him to go down there, it doesn't feel good to me. So I do him, but skip him doing me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:13 AM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • I'm glad SO doesn't like it. he's horrible at it so I don't have to endure his incompetence. I like it when done correctly but would rather do things that he's good at so it's pleasurable. Just tell him to stop. Tell him you don't like it. You don't have to add that you don't like it (when he does it!). Do some moaning and tell him "no baby, I need you inside of me....NOW". They fall for that urgency thing! lol

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:09 AM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • Why bother looking for a gentle way? Just tell him..

    Answer by Mad_Hexer at 1:54 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.