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Lack of Sex at 30

My hubby and i have been together 2 years, have a 1 year old and my 2 kids from a previous relationship.
he has been unemployed 1 1/2 years we have been together. he is looking for work, and HOPE he is starting monday. He has been here all day everyday micromanaging the way I do everything -- I am a stay at home mom --- which means hubby is AT WORK!!!!!
Anyway -- I am less and less interested in him -- and he likes to make little comments....... and they are getting on my nerves. I think he should spend that time/energy seducing me , not complaining! I'm a very attractive female for having 3 kids...... not out of shape, but he complains I don't bathe enough......
My issue is that he does not tell me he loves me and 'sex' starts in my crotch or boobs ---- the rest of my body is igonored

What are your thoughts?????

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:41 AM on Jul. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • ....I did I write this question and not remember doing so

    My issue is that he does not tell me he loves me and 'sex' starts in my crotch or boobs ---- the rest of my body is igonored

    you have company in that boat
    I will be watching the answers for me too
    boredmom44

    Answer by boredmom44 at 8:02 AM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • Perhaps he is under a lot of stress with the job search? I know when my hubby is stressed out about something his sex drive goes way down! The comments and micro-managing could be a sign of stress as well; he may feel useless atm. I swear the male ego is directly attached to their male organs!! If this is a temporary issue, I would do my best to encourage him and maybe dress up or do something special to try to get him more "in the mood". If this has been going on since you got together however, it may take a more aggressive sit-down-and-talk strategy. Tell him how you feel and maybe even get a book or browse the web for "sexy hints" that might give him a clue. Some men need a road map drawn for them!
    Emuu

    Answer by Emuu at 8:37 AM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • He tells you you don't bathe enough?! And you wonder why he doesn't touch you? If I thought my husband didn't bathe enough I wouldn't want to be with him either. And why if he's been home for 1 1/2 years haven't you gotten a job? That could be another issue for why he doesn't touch you. All the stress is on his shoulders.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 8:45 AM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • The first thing that came to my mind was that he may be depressed. He's been out of work for a long time now, this really effects a man and his image of himself. He is "picking" on you because he feels bad about himself. One thing to consider is, from your question it seems like he hasn't worked the whole time you've been together, did he work before this...steadily? Is he the type of man who has worked in the past, or is he just trying to get a free ride? Just some things to ask yourself and think about. If he has been a good worker in the past, and is now just having a hard time finding work, then I'd say it's the stress causing him to act this way. Either way you have a decision to make, is he worth you sticking it out? GL
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 9:35 AM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • My thoughts are that you have fallen into the social trap of believing that "seduction" is important, which it isn't. Sorry, but it's not. Getting down and having sex is important, and you do have a measure of control over making sure you get yours. The comments, on the other hand, are important and are clearly affecting your desire. In your place, I'd grab him by the scruff and sit him down for a chat about his comments and how they make you want to crush his larynx with your heel, not throw on a Catholic Schoolgirl uniform and spray your bajingo with Pine-Sol.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 12:21 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • I think that a man should suduce a woman... sorry Fistandantalus...It shows that he loves all of you and not just your sexual parts. Have you told him how you feel about this? I had to tell my husband that I want more from him than just" wam bam thank you mam" I want to feel his love. Why does he not want to work? He has a family and needs to take care of you and the kids. After you talk to him about the sex part and he makes passionate love to you kick his ass out the door and tell him not to come back until he has a job and leaves all the rude comments someplace else.
    heavenlypeace

    Answer by heavenlypeace at 6:47 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

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