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Anyone need a laugh ?35 Things NOT to Say to a Cop if You're Stopped

Ill start with one i had said . I got pulled over in Norman OK and the cop was trying to tell me that a car almost hit me because I ran the stop sign . I really did not stop the stop sign I was waiting for traffic on sooner to clear a little before drving out . Well I had gotten so irritaded and heasked have you even gotten a ticket before? I honestly said no he turned around to go to his car so I said fine go look while your at it get the address of the nearest dunkin donuts. LOL Needless to say I did get a ticket .
Have you said anything to a cop before like this lol ? here is the list of what not to say lol


Asked by Mrs.Owen86 at 7:00 AM on Jul. 12, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 6 (122 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • lol! about the donuts! When I was 18, I worked at a convienence store. I worked the night shift, and was by myself. I offered the cops just about anything they wanted if they would keep stopping by during their shift. free coffee, donuts, and hot dogs (I was just going to throw the damn things away at the end of my shift anyway, and in a year I think I actually sold 3, but I still had to have them available.) They could get all of the fountain drinks that they wanted. I really didn't care because I hated my shift and my boss refused to put me anywhere else. He said he didn't know how I did it, but so far, I was the only employee that had not been robbed while working the night shift. ROFL! If he only knew that I fed the cops to keep them there! I told the officers that they were like stray dogs...if you feed them, they'll never leave!

    Answer by Kauna at 9:15 AM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • 1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

    2. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

    3. Aren't you the guy-from the Village People band?

    4. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me. Good job.

    5. I though you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.

    6. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

    7. Bad cop, no donut.

    8. You're not going to check the trunk are you?

    9. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

    10. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on COPS?

    11. Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriends night stand.

    12. Is it true that people become cops because they're too dumb to work at McDonalds?

    13. I pay your salary.

    14. So uh, you on the take or what?

    15. Gee officer, th

    Answer by Mrs.Owen86 at 7:00 AM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • 16. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us knows.

    17. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around, that's how far ahead they are.

    18. What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" YOU'RE the trained specialist.

    19. Well officer, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

    20. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.

    21. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?

    22. No, YOU assume the position.

    23. I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts is having a 3 for 1 special!

    24. If I bend over, will I still get a ticket?


    Answer by Mrs.Owen86 at 7:01 AM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • 25. No, offi, offic, lucifer...I'm not as think you are drunk I am. I swear to dog.

    26. No, I don't know how fast I was going. The little needle stops at 110mph.

    27. Back off Barney, I've got a piece.

    28. But officer, I've got 2 different drivers licenses from 2 different states! Pick ONE!

    29. I know I was weaving, but I was trying to hit all the little green men!

    30. On the way to the station, let's get a six pack, oh and don't forget the cigs.

    31. Come on, write the stupid ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!

    Answer by Mrs.Owen86 at 7:01 AM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • 32. Hey, wasn't your daughter a porn queen?

    33. How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.

    34. So that's what those yellow flashing lights in the school zone mean?

    35. What do you use those rubber gloves for anyway?

    Answer by Mrs.Owen86 at 7:02 AM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • Funny!
    loved #17-my personal favorite
    passed this on to boyfriends sister
    she has had "meetings" with cops
    she will love it
    thanks for the morning chuckles

    Answer by boredmom44 at 7:45 AM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • when I was younger I got pulled over. When the officer asked me if I knew what why he had pulled me I said I think I just cut you off. He said No ma'am that wasn't me. So then I told him I didn't have any clue. He told me I was speeding and I was totally shocked. It turned out they lowered the speed limit on the road I used every day a few months back and I never even noticed. By the time he went back to his car I could see him laughing at my stupidity. I didn't end up getting a ticket and he said he appreciated my honesty. lol

    Answer by mssemmy at 7:50 AM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • i was going about 90 on my way to work on morning & got stopped by a state trooper, he said "why are you speeding?" i said, "b/c i'm late for work, i gotta go" and he was talking and talking i said "well write the damn ticket already i told you i was late & i don't have time to listen to you all morning"

    needless to say i still got the ticket but idc he was stupid lol

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 9:02 AM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • #17 is my favorite...LOL!

    If anyone has ever watched the show Roseanne you may remember the episode where Dan was arrested for beating up Jackie's BF. Well, the cops had him cuffed with his hands in front and as they were walking out the door Dan says, "I'll drive!" LOL....I thought it was really funny.

    Answer by PrydferthMenyw at 9:30 AM on Jul. 12, 2009