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If you're divorced and have custody of your child, but the father (ex husband) has visitation rights, does he...?

...have any say in who I am seeing? I am divorced, have custody of our daughter, but ex-husband has visitation....and am seeing someone now. My ex is saying that he is "concerned" about the man I am seeing being around his daughter, but the only reason he is "concerned" is because he doesn't like the guy and is annoyed that I'm seeing someone. Does he have any say in it because our daughter is involved?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:40 PM on Jul. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • No, unless there is signs of abuse toward you or the child coming from this man, your ex has no say whatsoever.

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 1:45 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • not unless he can prove that your child is in danger when she is around your boyfriend

    Answer by HisMommySince07 at 1:45 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • He has to have legitimate concerns that he could show a judge and say "These are the reasons I am concerned." If he can't do that, then he has absolutely no say whatsoever in who you date or who you bring around your daughter.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 1:58 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • My ex tried this one also. He said that he wanted to screen anyone I was seeing. No, he doesn't have the right to do this. If you happen to be seeing someone who is abusive or bad to the children then your ex can go for custody. My advice is to judge anyone new in your life with how he is with the children.

    Answer by momtoeight at 1:59 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • He has a right to have an interest in who will be around his children. But who you date does not require his "approval". As long as you are being a responsible parent with regard to who you are bringing into your children's lives, he has no right to interfere.

    Answer by hopelessnance at 2:05 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • He doesn't like him and thinks he is a dangerous person, but has never been able to give me a specific reason why he feels this way. I would think if he had a legitimate concern and knew something that would be of concern to his daughter, he wouldn't have qualms telling me what it is. Mind you, my ex has a child support order against him which he hasn't started me a couple dollars now and again, maybe keeps our daughter for a couple of hours every three weeks or so....and the guy I am seeing also pays to help take care of her....I mean, he supports her as well, which my ex husband hardly does. -OP

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:18 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • no

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:20 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • It's none of his business as long as you and your daughter are safe and happy. If your ex was that concerned, he'd pay the $40 for a background on the guy, but since he doesn't even pay child support, that'll never happen! Don't worry about it. He has no say.

    Answer by 2TimeWSM at 3:18 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • He has no say in the situation unless it is hurting your daughter. There is no reason why you cannot date anyone else! You need to be happy and as for your ex he needs to move on as well!

    Answer by CassieHaydin at 6:36 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • My ex tried to pull the same crap on me. I said, "Fine. I get to check out every woman you date too."

    He shut up very quickly.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:51 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

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