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Weve been married for 5 years and have children together. Although he makes me laugh & I know he loves me I feel we meant to be. Many things and signs I ignored when I was younger thinking he would grow havent changed. Well many years later those things havent changed and occasionally he he pushed and shoved me around. I want to leave because I am miserable but, I dont know if I should just deal with it because of the kids.

We are in a relationship based on a bad break up with me and my ex and weve never had closure. The ex and I have remained friends the entire time I have been married. And we realize that we too are still in love and we want to be together. I am not giving up on my marriage because of this but I am tired of him not wanting to man up in life and I am tired of the occasional fights. I just think the fights will eventually get worst and someone may get hurt. And I want to follow my heart but I dont know if I am being ridiculus.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:48 PM on Jul. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • If he is being abusive then by all means...leave.
    momtoeight

    Answer by momtoeight at 1:57 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • If you don't feel a connection, physical or emotional, with your husband, don't stay with him. It wasn't meant to be. And please don't stay together for the sake of your children. My mom did that with my dad, and us kids witnessed way too many violent fights and horrible name calling. It would've been better if she'd left him long before she did. Good luck. :)
    jmpeskie

    Answer by jmpeskie at 1:57 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • I don't care what anyone says, you should never stay with someone "just for the kids." Your kids can tell when you are unhappy && it doesn't give them a better life. All it teaches them is how to have an unhealthy relationship. If your children are young, they won't understand why mommy && daddy aren't together, but when they get older they will && they won't hate you for wanting to be happy. I don't believe in unnecessary divorces, but if you truly feel that things won't get better, then go. It will make everyone's life better in the long run.
    HisMommySince07

    Answer by HisMommySince07 at 2:03 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • staying in a bad relationship for the kids is so bad that some states have a law against it if there is any type of abuse. You are teaching your children that it's ok for a man to treat a woman like that. Do you want your children to be pushed or shoved by their spouse when they grow up. Children learn what they live. Find happiness. Kids deserve to see parents happy not miserable.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:22 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • I watched my father beat my mother and when that got old he turned to us. She stayed 27 years "for the kids". Don't bother. Trust me-the kids will be glad for you to leave. No amount of counseling will cure a hitter. Once a hitter, always a hitter.

    However, it might be better for you NOT to use your ex as a crutch. Try being on your own for a while and being independent. It does wonders for the self esteem. Being a single parent is hard but being a doormat isn't any fun either.
    2TimeWSM

    Answer by 2TimeWSM at 3:12 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • so your unhappy and think once your free things will get better and then you can be with your ex.
    I was there 2 yrs ago....I became friends with an ex and it turned out we never really moved on.
    We stayed friends and he got married....He is happy where he is and I'm sticking things out for my marriage.
    I come from a single parent household. My dad died and my mom re-married and she left when the marriage got rocky. I thought that leaving was the thing you do when things get rocky in a relationship. So when my first marriage got rocky I left.
    I see now that kids need to SEE their parents work things out...so they know that relationships are about having ups and downs and you work them out.
    Yes I hate my marriage but I have to show the kids that it is important to tough it out and at least get along with the person you married.
    Unless there is cheating, drug abuse or physical abuse....then its time to leave
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:21 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

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