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My husband is too generous?

My husband has numerous younger friends. Mostly that he works with. None of them are reliable workers nor have a pot to piss in. We are making 2 mortgage pymts and work full time. At work and with house chores. (I'm the more responsible one)
The problem is these guys are constantly asking for things. Whether it be borrowing the lawn mower or borrowing $5.00. And my husbands ussually gives in. Always!
Now, I drive a hard bargain. I think everyone should work for what they need. Which makes me not so friendly and I get soo annoyed with my husband, and its always just a repeat. I don't socialize much with people other than at work. Which makes it even harder to understand his genorosity towards others.
What should I do: 1. Learn to socialize more so I can understand the giving affect.
2. Just chalk it up to he's a real nice guy who likes to help everyone out he can.
I work too hard for what I/we have.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:11 PM on Jul. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Uh...that is a toughy. Either he just can't say NO or maybe they return the favor in another way like buy a case of beer or whatever to even it out. (the favor)

    If they are repaying him the favor then no biggie but what are you getting out of it? Nothing I guess because it seems to me it is his men stuff he lends out so if they break it (the lawn mower) he or they fix or buy another. Just be yourself and he will learn the hard way I guess you can mention it to him.

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 4:18 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • Continue about my 'generous husband'

    Now, I don't mind mingling and being there for other responsible adults.
    I just wonder if I get soo mad about this because my husband isn't listening to my feelings.
    But, on some occasions if my husband leaves his wallat at home and has to ask someone for a lunch favor, no one has the money to help. Besides, my husband doesn't ask anyways. He knows better. Knows the response.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:18 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • You have it easy. We didn't have living room furniture but my husband was steadily giving $300 a month to his mom because she convinced him shhe was broke. They own a better car than we do and she wasn't working because she didn't want to. After several fights he finally stopped. And he still buys tons of things for our friends.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:04 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • I think your husband is a blessing, and here is why. In a world where there is so much hatred and violence, where we are afraid to trust people in our own neighborhoods, your husband is the one person who is willing to stop and help someone in need. You may not think of it as a need, but lending the lawn mower or giving a few bucks to someone who needs it; these are just a few things that a generous caring person does. You look at it like it is a horrible thing. Imagine if you were in a situation where you needed a few bucks or needed the to borrow a lawn mower. Would you be understanding if someone said no, I work hard for what I have and you obviously don't work as hard as I do. How do you know that there people he are helping aren't in some type of strain. I hope you will realize your husband is a wonderful man and his giving is more than a blessing to those in need and start being more like him.


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 6:52 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • I think there's a difference between borrowing a physical item and borrowing money.

    When you are not using your lawn mower, it doesn't sit in the bank earning interest.

    You could make a point of asking them favours from time to time. Note who will do small things for you when asked and then cut dead the ones who don't believe in reciprocity.

    Answer by Clairwil at 12:36 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

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