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my husband says we have nothing in common!!

after 5 years of marriage and 6 years together i think my husband is ready to call it quits and i don't know what to do. i love him and want to stay with him but he does have a valid point. he says we have nothing in common anymore. how can i get him to see that we do have things in common (other than sex and our love for tha kids)?? anyone have any good ideas?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:47 PM on Jul. 12, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Some guys use this an an excuse because they think its an easy way out . Hes been with you this long so why is he just now telling you this. I would have a long heart to heart talk with him to find out what the real problem is. If it is just "nothing in common" than try to get interested in things he likes and introduce him to things you like. I found out in my marriage that we have to compromise so we can both do things we like and enjoy it together like this weekend I went camping for the first time in my life and I found out that I liked it. Hubby was proud of me. Just try to work it out and if hes still not happy than you might have to let him go if thats what he wants.
    heavenlypeace

    Answer by heavenlypeace at 6:23 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • Two words: Marriage counseling.
    kittyhasclaws

    Answer by kittyhasclaws at 5:57 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • i have tried to suggest marriage counseling for at least 2 years now and he insists that he's not the one with the problem. so i guess its not an option anymore. i've even gone by myself and all they did was perscribe me some crappy antidepressants and sleep pills....that was stupid. cuz it didnt' solve nothin!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:59 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • Find something new to do together. or find out what things you had in common the first time. Those are the easiest things to do. Most of the time men are talking about interests. In the beginning of a relationship a lot of women, especially if you were younger when you got together, interest ourselves in their activities because its them, not because we actually like the activity. For example, my DH loves to play guitar. I don't care for the guitar, but I still paste a grin on my face (like when we were dating), and listen. When he asks did you like this or that better, even though they more than likely sound the same to me, I pick one and come up with a reason for my pick. He feels that I am interested in what he does and I am because I am engaged in the activity with him. Remember the interest is him, not the actual activity.

    Lesli

    Answer by Lesli at 6:05 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • It doesn't matter if he thinks he's the one who has a problem or not. It's not "counseling" it's MARRIAGE counseling - which you should point out. :] It's counseling to help strengthen the marriage.
    I'm sorry to be very callous and insensitive... but if he doesn't want to make the effort to keep the marriage going strong, then he's just not worth it. A marriage isn't all about fun and sex. It's about learning to co-exist with another person who's the same as you or not. It's learning compromise, trust, love... and it SHOULD be a lifetime commitment...

    I really hope things work out for you! I really do.

    Before the kids were born, what did you do? Why don't you try and recreate some of those things? Ask for an overnight babysitter, rent a hotel room, go out on a date, whatever it was you did before you two had a baby.
    K_Sawyer

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 6:25 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • IMO.......if you do not have anything in common at all besides your children and a mutual attraction.......you should not be together. People change and grow within a relationship, but you should have at least a few things in common. "They" say opposites attract which I have found to be true although, if the basic reasons you fell in love with someone no longer exist than you have some thinking and talking to do. You should never stay together just for the children!
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 6:39 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • sometimes not having things in common makes a relationship more interesting. SO and I are polar opposites. We have nothing in common but sex and that we like each other. It's the most fascinating relationship I've ever been in.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:17 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • he has a lot of freakin secrets too...its like he is always hiding something. i think he's just ready to call it quits. whynot just let him go?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:18 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • please send me a pm. we amazingly have a lot of things in common. it seems as tho u could be me and my husband could be urs!
    rastafarimama

    Answer by rastafarimama at 8:59 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

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