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daughter and boarding school

I have a 13 year old daughter who is applying for prep schools. This was absolutely her idea and she really wants to do it. She is very smart and I really think she can do it. However, she is only 13 years old and I am scared to let her go. Her school would be about 5 hours away by plane. she would only be back 20 days a year because she would stay for summer. Any ideas on how to let her go?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:27 PM on Jul. 12, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (8)
  • You wont fully let her go. Only 20 days? I went to boarding school and most of them are closed in the summer. Why not have her come every other weekend? If you could afford boarding school you can afford her plane ticket.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:36 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • An acquaintance sent her son to boarding school, at his request. I asked her how she could let him go, that I wouldn't want to be separated from my children, and she said that he wanted to go, that he wanted to be among the other kids. If you can bear to let her go, then she'll likely make good friends that will last her all her life, she'll likely be well prepared for college, and graduating from a prep school should help with testing and applications, too.

    Answer by Bmat at 7:42 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • No way. No way. No way.

    As part of my post masters graduate school work I was involved with keeping gifted bording school students from killing themselves. Teenagers need to be around people of all ages and live in home environments.

    Answer by Gailll at 8:00 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

  • It depends why she wants to go to boarding school. My DD did for a short while - cause they had a boarding arrangement at a very open school she went to - so it was just to have fun, to which we said no way. She wasn't interested when I said if she wants to board, I'll look into all girl religious schools where she had no friends!!!

    If she is a high achiever, if there is good logic in her selection of the school, and if you can afford it, maybe you should consider it. As PP said, have her come home regularly, or occassionally fly out there. consider it temporary too... set objectives in terms of what you expect in terms of grades and behaviour - and if she doesn't meet the objectives, then she comes back home and goes to normal school.

    Answer by PhillyinFrance at 10:20 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • I can not even imagine it for myself or my is hard for me to give a objective answer. If you have any reservations at all.....then you have to know that you don't have to let her do this. There are undoubtedly good private prep schools in commuting distance or at least a boarding school in a distance that allows for more frequent contact. I couldn't do it. If you feel 100% comfortable with it....and so does your child.....even then someone else will have to reassure you because I simply can not.

    Answer by BJoan at 12:52 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • Does your daughter read the It Girl books?

    Answer by rkoloms at 1:08 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • She might be basing her ideas on movies and books, where it just appears to be one fun prank after another. Or the idea that a lot of rich and famous people send their kids there, so she could rub elbows with them.

    To address her academic achievement, are there advanced programs in her school--AP, Honors, etc?

    My 12 y.o. daughter wanted to do it, too, but not with the enthusiasm your daughter has about it. I wasn't comfortable with it and said no. And that was that. MY DD can leave when she goes to college.

    Answer by mama_k228 at 2:10 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • YOU DON'T. What is wrong with the schools in your area. If she is that smart let her take college courses at home or in the college near you. Your kids are only with you a short time anyway. Why would you even consider it?

    Answer by Necie11 at 2:24 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

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