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Are we being to harsh???

My oldest son totalled our car 10 days ago. And honestly he is lucky to be alive considering he tried to cross a highway and was hit by an oncoming SUV at a high rate of speed. He is starting college in the fall and we have decided to take him off our car insurance totally and take away any access to our vehicles. We told him as long as he kept a good driving record we would keep him on our insurance while he was in college. Are we being to harsh by taking him off our policy??? My dh and I are going back and forth about this...I say take him off and make him grow the heck up and take responsiblity. IF he wants a car then he has to get a job and buy one himself.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:01 AM on Jul. 13, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (56)
  • I agree don't go and buy him a car he should have a job and be saving for his own car. For the car he just wreck was that his fault? was he just trying to acting cool? if so then he is a college student allow him to grow up and see what the real world is all about.

    Answer by raemommy at 7:05 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • raemommy - My dh and I think that it was both his fault and the other persons son was crossing a 2 lane highway and the other driver was driving at a high rate of speed and hit the passenger side of the car. My son misjudged the person's speed. We told him that he should have just waited for the vehicle to pass.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:15 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • I don't thinks it's harsh at all.


    Answer by Anonymous at 7:16 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • Certainly not! I had to buy my own policy and car when I learned to drive. I had to work my rumpus off to afford it all. I got a ticket at 17, and my parents threatened to revoke their consent for me to drive (the state allowed revocation until the age of 21) and I had to pay my father, an attorney, his fee to show up in court with me. Driving is not a right-- it is a privilege, and your son has just lost his privilege. Considering the lack of judgment he showed, please do us all a favor and get him off the road!


    Answer by Anonymous at 7:29 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • He is off the road right now! We refuse to let him have any access to any of our cars....Believe me!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:40 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • I don't think you are being harsh. From the day I got my license I had to pay insurance, gas, etc. Another option if you decided to keep him on, would be for him to pay the difference on you insurance (especially if it goes up after the accident).

    Answer by micheledo at 7:52 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • first a message from the grammar police: the word is TOO. And no you are not being too harsh, but taking away his license and insurance does not guarantee that he will not drive. I recommend driving school. He needs to learn to do better not just be punished.


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:08 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • not too harsh
    Most college kids do not need a car on campus anyway

    Answer by boredmom44 at 8:28 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • No right now he needs some driving classes. Spend the extra money on that. My little sis just went to college and she has a car but it's parked in my driveway as we speak. She doesn't need a car right now, no need for the temptations that will bring. Once she shows she can keep her grades up she will have her car on campus.

    Answer by DazeDelights at 8:32 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • I think that children old enough to get a job would appreciate their possessions more if they have paid for them. I am 21 with a daughter of my own but I had to get my own car and I took great care of it and never do anything stupid. I have no tickets for the 4 years I have been driving, never been pulled over, etc... the only accidents I was involved in was on my 18th birthday and I was not driving. I can only say they will appreciate their things more if pushed to take up responsibility for themselves.

    Answer by Ellie4040 at 8:44 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

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