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bachelorette party question, what would you do???

one of my childhood friends is getting married...she has an alcohol and drug problem and has been in rehab i think 3 times this year. i am under the impression that she is no longer using drugs, but still drinks heavily. i try to stay out of situations with her that will encourage her to drink. but she has shown up at my house on 1-2 occassions in the last month where she has been drunk- there is a major mood change when alcohol is involved. she gets very loud, obnoxious, and cries alot. the maid-of-honor decided it was not her responsibility to plan the bachelorette party for her, so i was pretty much told by my friend that i would be doing it. here are the issues i am having...#1, i dont wanna go! bc i know its gonna be an awful night. #2, not many of the ladies on the invite list are going. only like 5 out of 16...they are probably aware of the behavior. and #3, she wants super expensive things that i can not afford. SAHM!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:05 AM on Jul. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • and i am trying to remember that it is HER wedding so i should do the things she wants me to do, but i have already been kicked out of the wedding party once and bc of her situation, i wasnt real convinced that the wedding was even gonna take place. i feel so bad for feeling this way, really.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:08 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • You know what why don't you all just go and have a lunchon and when thats over you all can just go your own ways. Your not the maid-of honer so it's not your responablely to plan the party.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 7:13 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • Well this doesn't mean you HAVE to do it or HAVE to pay for everything. Why not just plan a night out at the comedy club and let it be a dry night of fun? You can just get friends together at your home too. You don't have to have alcohol to have a fun party or night out. Get the rest of the bridal party together and come up with some ideas on what to do.GL.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:14 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • i offered the idea of having a sex toy party and a ladies night, but she said no. she has given me specifics of what she wants...A PARTY BUS TO PHILADELPHIA, not a limo, but a bus, bc she wants to walk around on the ride...with only a hand full of people, it is very pricey even if we are splitting it. then cover charges to each bar, bc she said we HAVE to go to more than one place, we HAVE to wear cocktail dresses, and then drinks...its going to be an expensive night. i have contacted the ither bridesmaids and they are kind of in the same mind set as me...but the bride-to-be is adament about what she wants. HELP ME!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:33 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • Wow! I never had a friend that required a certain kind of party. It is a gift for you to plan it and while you can consider what she wants, you don't have to do it. If she wants a specific kind of party, then it is up to her to throw it herself. Don't change your decisions just to please her. Tell her what you are willing to do and able to afford, if she doesn't like it she can throw her own. (Of course this is MUCH easier to say to you then to a friend who would be upset with me - so sorry for you)!
    micheledo

    Answer by micheledo at 7:56 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • Let her pay for it. I'd have a sit down with your friend and tell her like it is. So what if you get kicked out of the wedding. Better to be a true friend, then allowing her to behave like she is.
    SoKamele

    Answer by SoKamele at 8:04 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • Well if she demanding these things I would sit down with her and have a talk. She shouldn't be demanding anything. When it comes to this she isn't supposed to know about it anyway. She should be grateful something can be done if anything in the economy. If she wants things like that to be done she better be prepared to chip in a chunk of it or downgrade to what fits everyone's budget.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:24 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • You may not like my answer, many moms may not, but I would just tell your friend that you just can't handle getting this party together right now, your sick, your pregnant, your dh is sick, or your dh just said NO. Whatever, but just get out of it.
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 8:44 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • Actually, robinann5, I like your anwser a lot.
    SoKamele

    Answer by SoKamele at 8:50 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • I'd tell bridezilla she is on her own. If she has been to rehab 3 times and still drinks heavily she was not successful. Bachelorette parties are the responsibility of the maid of honor to plan. If you can't afford it. Tell her so. If you are uncomfortable with alcohol being involved..tell her so. Maybe you best tact all the way around is to bow out of the wedding party. Demanding a certain p[arty is rude.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 10:47 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

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