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would you stay?

I got engaged way to early in this relationship and now I'm 9 months pregnant and ready to pop. my fiance keeps doing things that drive me nuts like blaming me for our money issues when he spends more than I do on things we don't need, or waking up the whole house at 4am because he can't get things ready for work the night before. I could deal with this if I felt I could talk to him about it but every time I try talking he rolls his eyes and gets all upset. an example, last night I asked if we could save money by turning MY cell phone off and just getting a land line (we are paying $200 a month on cell service) cont...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:03 AM on Jul. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • cont...he got all mad and said I need a cell in case of an emergency and besides if I have a basic land line I can't call long distance... lately the only person I call is him... the only thing I use my cell for is the internet since we have the unlimited everything plan... then I tried saying that in orfer to save money on daycare I'm going to try and get a nanny job in the mornin and in the afternoon when he gets home he can watch my two kids while I get another job... wasn't good enough cause a nanny job won't pay for anything... I'm at my wits end here!!! HELP!!!! would you stay or is it time to just give up? we fight more than anything... but I do feel like I love him and his whole family is great. what should I do?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:09 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • Compromise...drop the high dollar cell phone use. Why don't you sit down and do a list together. I wouldn't be getting married anytime soon.
    SoKamele

    Answer by SoKamele at 8:12 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • I think this is an emotional and stressful time for both of you. With the baby due soon, and money getting tight. I say just ride it out until after the baby is born. Don't make any decisions about your relationship until after the baby is born, and even until the baby is a couple months old. As far as the cell phone issue, I agree with you, it is alot to pay right now. I have a land line through our local cable company and I pay $25 a month and have unlimited calling, long distance, call waiting, caller ID. Or maybe do some research and find a cheaper plan. Then get all your facts together and sit down with him and explain all the options.
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 8:38 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • How much is it going to cost to turn the cell phones off? more than 200? I say find a way to compromise. Try to help him get things ready the night before. I know you're not his mom but I'm sure he would appreciate it. I'm currently not working my due date is in three weeks, so I try and pack his lunch and all of that. He can do it himself but I feel like doing something nice for him.
    I know it is stressful being ready to pop and I feel myself getting more irritated by the little things he does and he gets irritated with me for irritated for no real reason.

    I do think you should keep your cell phones for now, maybe you could switch down to a lower plan within the same cell company. say no more unlimited texting, go from 1000 anytime minutes to 700. It really does help. Would you be able to get a hold of him when you go into labor if you did not have your cell phones? Maybe that is why he would not want to get rid of them.
    lady-J-Rock

    Answer by lady-J-Rock at 9:07 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • i completely understand where you r coming from!i am seven months and in the same situation,only my b/f would rather spend money on stupid things instead of things we need. it is hard thinking that a baby has to come into this and how much things are going to change from there- for the better or worse. but i just tell myself to hang in there and see how it will turn out,it is stressful on the father too and guys just don't deal with things in a rational way!not to mention the hormones! my plan is to wait until the baby gets here,if nothing too drastic happens until then- if it doesn't get better after that then why bother. but i hope everything works itself out for you~
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:48 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • Yes I would stay.

    Sit down with him and go over your budget together. Come up with a resonable amount that he can spend (on whatever he wants) each pay period. Find out how much a Nanny job would pay... do the legwork, so you can SHOW him.

    Help him out the night before, suggest that he get everything together, and help him do it, so he can get up, get dressed and get out the door. My husband gets up at 5am and I know exactly what you mean. But I help him get everything together the night before, so he can just get dressed and leave.

    And the BIGGEST thing that I see here is that when you try to talk to him, he feels attacked. Don't attack or accuse him...over anything. People who feel attacked with usually attack back.

    And I agree with him on the cell phone thing. Keep your cell phone, maybe drop it down, but still keep it. Shop around for cheaper internet...

    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 10:09 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • You said:
    "I got engaged way to early in this relationship"
    And
    "I'm at my wits end here!!!"

    If your not happy, leave..
    Mad_Hexer

    Answer by Mad_Hexer at 10:30 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

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