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Someone else is pregnant...

My hubby and I recently found out that before we were ever together he got someone else pregnant. This person didn't tell my hubby. She ended up having a miscarriage. My hubby talks to her on the phone now though and texts her as well. We went through almost the same situation a couple of years ago. We lost our son when I was 30 weeks pregnant. I don't know how I should feel about this. I've dealt with trust issues with him in the past so I don't know what to do. On the other hand, she went through a miscarriage by herself and didn't have anyone to talk to about it. He's telling me that he is talking to her about her pregnancy and things like that. He says that once she is fine that he will break contact with her. I don't know if that will actually happen. Then, he goes and meets with her mom the other day and she gave him pictures of this girl that he knocked up. I don't know what to do. HELP!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:08 AM on Jul. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Nip it in the bud. She can go to a counsler or a church. Your HUSBAND does not need to console her. You need to end this "relationship" between your hubby and this woman before you've got another pregnancy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:21 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • I agree with the first poster - there's no reason why HE has to be the one to help her through things. And there is no reason for him to have pictures of her or be having any contact. If it was before you were together, then it was evidently quite a while ago anyway. If her mom is in the picture then maybe she can be the one to give her daughter the emotional support she evidently needs.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:30 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • This is not a good idea. Sometimes men just don't see things clearly, I"m sure he thinks he is helping her out, but she is problay working her way back in...or trying too. I say he needs to stop talking to her before he gets himself into something he wasn't planning.
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 8:34 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • By what you wrote...He is lieing to you it sounds like to me..You should tell him to stop talking or seeing this women,,now.The misscarage is done and overwith..It is not like she had a baby.Tell him to stop.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:16 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • I've told him that I'm uncomfortable with him talking to her, but he just tells me that I'm overreacting. He's not in contact with this girl though. She's in the USAF and isn't stationed anywhere near here.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:28 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • It is sad that she had a miscarriage, but she should not need him to console her--especially if she kept the pregnancy from him to begin with. She has many options out there-- talking to a pastor (if she is a church going person), seeking grief counseling, talking to family/friends... I think it is time to sit him down and remind him he has a wife/family- the miscarriage is done and over with and it is time to move on- and put her in the past. He has a family that needs his attention.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 9:32 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

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