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Filling for divorce... Is it ok to date right now?

We are filling in two weeks.. I have a friend who is rolling into more, and no hes not the reason were divorcing.. But I dont know the rules to this.. Any insight would be helpful.. thanks ..

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:11 AM on Jul. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • I wouldn't until after the papers have been filed for awhile. Personally, you need a break from the whole relationship thing.
    I mean, what's the rush, right?
    SoKamele

    Answer by SoKamele at 8:22 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • if you have an attorney they will tell you to wait until after the divorce is final before starting a new relationship. I didn't - by the time I left my husband our marriage was and had been dead for a long, long time. I started dating about a month after I moved out, but it was against my attorney's advice.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:27 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • I agree with the above. Also, you don't want to be bringing a new man around your children right away. Even after your divorce I would wait awhile to bring a man over. Dating is OK, just not around the kids for a bit.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:28 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • The first poster
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:29 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • maybe think if you were older in life and your daughter were going through this exact situation with one or more children of her own, what would your words of caution with an impending divorce be to your daughter? Don't do any thing to hurt your case if your divorce is not friendly. If your other guy loves you now and in the future more than your divorcing husband did and does now, then your new guy will go through hell with out pressure from him for a physical relationship for a very very long time. Been there done that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:35 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • I think the children of the divorce would be particularly confused if you did not wait until filing the papers and everything is taken care of.
    Ellie4040

    Answer by Ellie4040 at 8:40 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • It is fine to date..But I would recommend not getting serious with any one tell way after your divorce..Like a year out.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:09 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • I have hear this over and over from professionals and I belive it is true because I have seen it in my friends and family:

    Do not date or have a romantic relationship (or friendship that could become something more) with anyone for a year. If you do, it will prevent you from finding out who you are and what you really want and need in a relationship. You need that alone time to get a healthy perspective on your life and what went wrong in your marriage so you don't repeat those mistakes and you know what a healthy relationship looks like. If there are kids involved, you need to regroup before introducing another person into the mix. Start your one year on the day of the divorce.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 9:30 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • If you made vows that said anything like "until death do us part." then you are not eligible to date until your husband dies. It is the vows that are binding and not the legalities.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • It depends.

    How long has your relationship been really over? Are you just deciding this? Has it been months? Years?

    I don't really care about the legalities of it, as long as you ARE filing for divorce or have filed...

    Once the relationship is dead in your heart, it's over. Many people stay married LONG past that point.

    I would say that it depends on what feels right to you. Make sure that this guy isn't just a rebound, and then go for it, but be cautious...

    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 10:01 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

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