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Abortions is not B/C

I have a friend that has two kids ages 5 and 2. They're both the same guy. She just recently found out that she was pregnant again and it's by the same as her first two. But the thing is that he is now married but is sleeping with her. She has decided to have an abortion because having a baby with him is going to complicate things. I have told her not to and that my husband and I will take care of the baby but she doesn't want to see her child being raised by someone else. To me I think that is totally selfish way of thinking. If I couldn't afford the child I would first be on any and all types of B/C because bring kids into this world is not something you take lightly. And having an abortion shouldn't be used as a form of B/C. There are so many women that can't have kids and then you have "women" like this who can get pregnant just by looking, not fair. How can I change her mind and get her to make wiser decisions?

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:38 AM on Jul. 13, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (10)
  • You can't change her mind. Only offer options. It's not selfish of her as it is her choice and not for you to judge.


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:47 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • ohhh hot topic. nothing you can do will make her change her mind because she's not married to the slob who ilmpregnated her. And it looks like she's finally seeing that she's the second looser in the triangle and the newest baby would be the last looser with bf being the first looser. She does not win as a single again mom of another single child who now for the potential third baby still is not married with legal backings to any of the babies father. Either love her unconditionally and the choice she makes or run away from what was between the two of you. The only thing you can do is put a BirthRight (maybe BirthRite?) type homepage with telephone numbers and adoption agencies names on her table. Also fyi call your counties united way displaced homemaker's agency - maybe they help with counselling women in your friend's situation. Put your love into volunteering in public community works where you can make a difference

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:52 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • you're probably going to have to research and show her some facts. if she doesn't want the baby, show her some facts on how many women can't have babies or have trouble getting pregnant. also, show her what they baby is doing now, like if she is 8 wks along, look up some facts on what baby is able to do, what it has grown, etc.
    also, i wanted to add. just bc it's going to complicate things doesn't mean that's a good reason to have an abortion. he should've thought about that before he was cheating on his wife. both of them should've thought about what they were doing and at the very least used some kind of bc.

    Answer by mommytobobby at 8:56 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • Her body, and her choice.

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 9:11 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • if she is such a bad person why to you talk to her ....did you ever stop to look it from her point of view she loves this man and is blind and has to wake up on her own and leave him alone first off second I understand your point but if she has this baby and gets on welfare because she can not afford it than you would be on here posting about how she gets food stamps and your tax money is paying for it etc etc ether way she can not win here .....look in the mirror you see GOD if not back off and be a true friend or walk away


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:33 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • You can't really change her mind, this decision has to be made by her, but as her friend you need to be there for her to talk to, give her some info, her options, even tell her you don't feel abortion is the answer, but that you will be here to support her no matter what she chooses. That's what being a friend is all about, you can't make her choices for her, you can only be there for her.

    I would say this is using abortion as birth control....I knew a girl who has had 7 that is using abortion as birth control! I tried to be there for this friend of mine, but finally had to walk away. You need to decide if you can support whatever she decides, if you can't then walk away...that is your choice.

    Answer by robinann5 at 9:46 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • ooops...sorry..

    I wouldn't say this is using....

    Answer by robinann5 at 9:47 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • How can you say that she's being selfish? It's her body and for her to decide, not you. It's actually selfish of you to think that because she's fertile while you might not be that she should just go through pregnancy and hand over the child to you. She is not your personal baby making machine. That's the stupidest argument I've ever heard.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:57 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • Anon 9;57 you are the biggest idiot that I have seen here thus far. How is this woman selfish for wanting her friend to not have an abortion and let her raise the child? If she was up here saying that she personally wanted to have an abortion then you and all the other women would be jumping down her back telling her to give the baby up for adoption. Get it together IDIOT, and don't be so quick to judge someone for wanting to help out a friend.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:21 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • Amen to you! I agree people use abortions for no reason it is not right. If she didn't want to get pregnant with this mans child then she shouldn't have been fooling around. If he is married why is she with him in the first place how would you feel if you husband was having sex with someone else. Your friend is selfish and has not thought about anyone else this is a prime exaple of why we should not have abortions. People don't think things thru. It is not acceptable form of B/C and I think you are doing the right thing by trying to offer her different options. What gives anybody the right to choose to end anyones life being a baby in the womb or a man on the street!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:04 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

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