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my sons girlfreind loves him a lot.but he is being very disrespectful which is not like him what can i do

he is twenty years old.she is loyal to him he wants to break up with her what can i do to make him realize he has a great girlfreind

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tareen

Asked by tareen at 12:37 PM on Jun. 22, 2008 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • If he doesnt love her, he gets to let her go. He is only 20 years old and just because you love her doesnt mean he has to. He is searching for HIS life partner. He is too young to feel like he has to push and work through a relationship. That comes with years of marriage. While she might be a fantastic person, she just might not be the one for him. It doesnt mean he or she is a bad person. You can always keep her as a friend yourself. She just may need you more than she needs your DS.
    njoynlife

    Answer by njoynlife at 12:45 PM on Jun. 22, 2008

  • She may be the greatest girl in the world, but this is about *his* feelings. If it's not clicking with him now, by all means he should walk away (nicely, of course). Don't you want your son to find his true love and be head over heels in love? Not forcing it because he feels like he should? He's young yet - the right girl has yet to come.
    goldenfox

    Answer by goldenfox at 1:23 PM on Jun. 22, 2008

  • well, for one thing, as much as you may like her, she is still HIS girlfriend, and 20 is far too young, in my opinion, to be encouraging a child to settle down with anyone. i would however, make it clear that disrespect towards any woman is unacceptable. i would encourage him to either end it, or address whatever issue is making him treat her that way, and if he continued to be disrespectful to the girl, and i was really upset about it, i would encourage the girl to break up with HIM. bad boyfriends dont deserve good girlfriends, but the only way he's going to learn that is if enough women stand up to him and don't take his nonsense.
    anniekelleher

    Answer by anniekelleher at 1:40 PM on Jun. 22, 2008

  • I understand that you like her and wish she would stay around. Just like any other mother you want what is healthy and best for your son, he doesn't look at the big picture I am sure. Have you asked him what he feels she is lacking? and what he is looking for? This way you can understand what he is expecting to be with and find at this age of his life. Some men/boys don't want anything serious until later in life and other want a serious relationship. Don't try to pressure him in to being with her but try to understand why he wants to break up with her. If she is such a good person then you will want what is best for her , even if it isnt with your son. Unfortunatly boys will be boys and I wish you luck and I hope he makes the best descion for all partiest involved!
    MommySteph1011

    Answer by MommySteph1011 at 1:55 PM on Jun. 22, 2008

  • I understand that you like her and wish she would stay around. Just like any other mother you want what is healthy and best for your son, he doesn't look at the big picture I am sure. Have you asked him what he feels she is lacking? and what he is looking for? This way you can understand what he is expecting to be with and find at this age of his life. Some men/boys don't want anything serious until later in life and other want a serious relationship. Don't try to pressure him in to being with her but try to understand why he wants to break up with her. If she is such a good person then you will want what is best for her , even if it isnt with your son. Unfortunatly boys will be boys and I wish you luck and I hope he makes the best descion for all partiest involved!
    MommySteph1011

    Answer by MommySteph1011 at 1:55 PM on Jun. 22, 2008

  • Stay out of it. He is an adult now. Honestly it's not your business. You need to let him make his own mistakes, that is all a part of him growing and maturing. I am not trying to be rude just know what it's like to have a mom that tried to get involved in my relationships. It was honestly horrible. After a while of being apart from her he will eventually see that she was the best thing for him or maybe he won't. The end result will be him growing and learning consequence for his actions.
    Best of luck to you and your son.
    Hugs!
    Shele
    SHELEBELLE

    Answer by SHELEBELLE at 4:48 PM on Jun. 22, 2008

  • well..he is an adult. however, i believe that he shoudl still be respectful and honest. how he treats her is going to be a pre-cursor to how he treats others. teach him the right way to end the relationship.

    ultimately he is not only disrespecting her..but himself. he needs to be honest and let her know. if he does and she wont let go..then that will need to be something that he also handles..but in a respectful way.

    there is a GREAT book call the measure of a man by sidney potier...spelling is a mess...but check it out!

    let me know.
    Karla
    CoolYourWorld

    Answer by CoolYourWorld at 9:39 PM on Jun. 22, 2008

  • I agree with encouraging him to respect her... and ALL women. It sounds like he isn't happy with her. whether he is too young, or just doesn't love her, it doesn't matter. I have been treated badly in past relationships and try to encourage my tween sons, who have had girlfrinds, to be respectful and treat them as they wish to be treated. They are young, though. I hope they remember when they are older.
    drowninginboys

    Answer by drowninginboys at 9:32 AM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • Watch out for stalking behaviors in the girl it is real and happens everyday let him let he go...he still a baby.
    Michelle
    rosetoes

    Answer by rosetoes at 10:03 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

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