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My husband is trying to force me to dye my hair blond...I am a dark-skinned Black woman and I really don't want to, it just looks bad....

My husband is White, we have been married for two years. We were fine at first, then he asked me to wear blue contact lenses about 7 months ago. I did but it looked ridiculous. I argued and we settled on green contacts instead. They look dumb to me but not as bad. Then a few months later he asked me to straighten my natural hair...not as big a deal so I did it. Now he wants me to dye my black hair "honey blond". I said NO. I am not going to go around looking idiotic. That look might work for some black women, but not me.

The other thing that has changed is, he is no longer comfortable with my family/friends. He is slowly cutting off all contact and wants me to as well. I am a SAHM while he works and he cut off the house phone. I can have a cell phone when he leaves for work but that's it. He also disconnected the cable (we are not having financial problems).

What could be going on? I'm getting a bit concerned here.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:38 AM on Jul. 13, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I think he's just being a selfish bastard. If you dont think it would look good dont do it. You're the one who has to look at yourself in the mirror every day. Its just not worth worrying about, hes just being controling, i'd say dump him,obviously its gunna be hard cuz you're married, but its just gunna get worse. It sounds like he wants you to be white, do you really wanna be with someone like that? You need someone whos gunna love you just the way you are, and not wanna turn you into some barbie/pornstar.
    holly082290

    Answer by holly082290 at 2:57 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • hes over you..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:40 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • idk that is a little odd, i mean he married you for you right? you shouldn't have to change your eye or hair color to please him if you didn't look that way b4 i agree that blonde hair dosen't work for most black women, if he don't like it tell him to f*ck off
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:41 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • let's see you are an interracial couple, yet know he is trying to make you look like his race? It's not rocket science!!

    do you have children together? i'm guessing his family and friend do not "approve" of your natural look, so he's trying to hide your natural beauty and turn you in to what he or his family and friends "approve" of!

    Time to have a serious discussion, or leave his sorry ass! You are who you are....no amount of superficial changes are going to change that, unless you let him!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:44 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • That is really controlling. I don't like it one bit. I'm really really not in the habit of telling people to leave their husbands, but this stinks to high heaven of a soon-to-be dangerous situation.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:44 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • Your husband sounds like he is kind of controlling. Maybe you guys should seek the advise of a marriage counselor. They work wonders. I don't think that it matter's if you are black or white or blue, he is trying to control you and change you to what HE wants regardless of what you want. This is your body and your self image that he is toying with. You are not a doll to be dressed to his specifications...I would find a counselor.... Try not to isolate yourself, which is a hard task when you are a SAHM (I am a SAHM too) Can you have family or friends pick you and the kids up to go out and do whatever? PM me if you need someone to talk to.
    MamaRoberts

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 10:46 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • sorry I think he's fantaszing about being with someone from a different race for sex. If it's escalated to him controlling physically you, cutting off phone and allowing you a cell is control when you did not give joint permission. And this body change physically of you too. Tell him to get his act checked into counselling or your gone.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • Call the cable company and get it turned back on. You live there to and take care of his kids as well as yours. Tell him to STFU! You dress the way you want to. That is so not fair to you. I'm sorry he is such an @$$! If you want us cafe-moms can kick his butt!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • "That is really controlling. I don't like it one bit. I'm really really not in the habit of telling people to leave their husbands, but this stinks to high heaven of a soon-to-be dangerous situation."

    I completely agree.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:52 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • DO NOT CUT OFF CONTACT WITH YOUR FAMILY. He is controlling you and you will end up regretting it. I strongly suggest you leave this relationship. WTF i am a dark skinned black woman and i would NEVER dye my hair blonde. You would have to give me a couple of shots before i do that. He is toxic. If he cant love you for you than you do not need him. I repeat YOU DO NOT NEED HIM.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:54 AM on Jul. 13, 2009