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Relationship Downfall

Me and my husband have been married for almost a year now, and have been together for four years off and on before that. Everytime we broke things off it was bcuz of fighting and him being too controlling. Now the problems have arised again. Except he has been saying very hurtful, and demeaning things to me such as: he hates me, he's miserable w/me, the only reason we are together is to raise our daughter. Its embarassing to let him treat me like this, especially bcuz i would never want this for my daughter! recently i have not wanted to have sex with him bcuz i feel hurt by how hes treating me and i just amnot into it, he told me he doesnt wanna live this way and that its stressful for him to not have sex, then I found out he is getting tons of porn off the internet when we r sleeping. I feel this is wrong for me to put up with? Am I wrong?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:45 AM on Jul. 13, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I understand what you're going through my husband is very similar to yours while he does not tell me he hates me he does blame me for pretty much everything that goes wrong yells aat me and then after hes cooled down pretends like it never happened. But you have to ask yourself if thats the way you want your daughter to grow up thinking thats ok. My advise would be to sit him down and talk to him and tell him how you feel give him a certain amount of time to show that at least hes trying to improve and if he doesn't pack your stuff take your daughter and leave. If you want to talk or just vent send me a message anytime.
    countrygirl06

    Answer by countrygirl06 at 1:16 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • I think that almost any marital problem can be worked through. Have you thought about going to a marriage counselor? I think that things need to be discussed and worked out in a healthy way. I would try every avenue of reconciliation before you consider leaving. There have been a ton of marriages that started out rocky, but once things were worked out in a healthy way the marriage was wonderful. Good luck.
    LaceyAM

    Answer by LaceyAM at 11:50 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • Marriage counseling for sure. Good luck!
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 11:52 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • not every man is going to go to counseling sorry if u think so,buts its my opinion.just try talking to him and see what happens or maybe u need to separate
    alyssa1

    Answer by alyssa1 at 11:54 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • I don't want to plant a seed of suspicion, but is it possible he is in a relationship outside the marriage and doesn't want to leave you because he feels guilty? Could he be pushing you away so that you are the one to leave him to do what he wants?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 AM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • UPDATE:

    See ok I agree with the answer about not every man will go to counseling...its true and we have talked about it, but hes too thick headed that if the counselor suggested he did one thing even something small wrong he would freak...as far as the last answer thats exaclty how i feel!!! See his family is very big on stayin gtogetehr through all odds...but mines more accustomed to divorce is ok if necessary! HIs fmaily would hate him and me fo rdivorcing, so I feel he is trying to puch me to where I break it off and not him so he's the good guy...you know?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:04 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • Im going through the same thing. My husband has screamed he hates me and tells me i wouldnt make it with out him cause i didnt finish high school. He calls me lazy a bitch and then afterwards he apologizes and expects me to kiss his butt and this is almost everyday.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • UPDATE:

    Yes he does that too gets super angry with me then expects me to be ok after...wtf!?!!?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:23 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • i finally talked to someone in my family about it and they its just one of those controlling relationships. Im the anon 10:23 if you wanna send me a message we should talk it would be nice to have someone going through the same thing to talk to.
    megclark22

    Answer by megclark22 at 12:27 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • it's wrong if you feel it's wrong. You have control over your life. Do what you think is right.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:37 PM on Jul. 13, 2009