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My best friends daughter broke my daughter's arm... what to do!?

We were having a play date at a local eatery. The kids were playing in the indoor playground area and my friend's daughter pushed my daughter down the stairs (they are both 3) and as a result, my daughter's arm is broken. I understand accidents, but my friends daughter had already gotten in trouble for hitting some other little girl several times. This little girl hits alot, I have never seen my daughter hit anyone (I am not niave, I am sure it has happened, but I have never SEEN it happen).

So anyway, she feels bad but hasn't done anything to correct the problem. She also hasn't offered to pay for our medical bills (er copay and followup specialist copays) she is also missing the second half of her swimming lessons. I didn't really think about her paying for this until another friend said "Shes paying for it right?"

Anyway, what are your thoughts? What should I do about the bills, our friendships, our kids?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:37 PM on Jul. 13, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (6)
  • I would def ask her to pay anything out of pocket. It's only right for her to do so since her kid as past problems. Yes accidents happen but parents need to be responsible and teach their children. If she doesn't pay, take it to small claims court.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:43 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • Kids will be kids, but she needs to be responsible for her child. But if you knew that this child had a history of being violent toward other children, that would have been a reason to keep them apart. I am not sure here. I mean, this could go either way, as far as where blame gets placed. I would ask her if she could help you pay the bills considering it was her child that made the mistake. If you are serious about keeping this friend, then you shouldn't say anything though. I am sure that it will cause some tension. Now as far as the kids go, I would keep them apart for a while. I doubt that this other girl will have learned her lesson from this. She needs more than a few days to break the bad habit, and she is obviously a risk to other children until she learns better.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 3:43 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • Eh, I don't know. Get ready for WWIII. This is your best friend and you are thinking this way? I don't know, accidents happen, maybe her kid is a bit bullyish, but kids are kids.

    Answer by gramsmom at 3:51 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • I agree with Mom1StepMom1 - it could go either way. If you decide to ask her to cover your out of pocket expenses, don't be surprised if the friendship ends. Either way, do not let your daughter out of sight with the other little girl until that child learns to not push and hit.

    On a similar note, make sure YOU have good liability coverage. You never know when your child will do something that causes expenses for someone else - broken windows, broken arms, broken belonging. As you've found, things get expensive fast.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 3:53 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • I think she should have offered some type of help, even if it wasn't monitary. I am non-confrontational, so unless the money was really putting me in a pinch, I wouldn't ask. But I would definitely create a distance in the relationship, it just says a lot to me what kind of mom she is that she didn't offer to do something. I know that's not the best way to handle it, but it's what I would do.

    Answer by pat7879 at 4:48 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • Well I would think if it was a good friend they would have already offered some help, wether it was money wise or not.
    Kids are going to be kids and accidents will happen. Obviously the other child didnt intend to push her down the stairs and have her arm break.
    I would for sure say something if you think this will always bother you and affect your friendship later on, if you dont say something now.
    Good Luck

    Answer by momofbaizoe at 8:25 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

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