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Despise pregnant women?

AHHH! My hubby and I have been TTC for over a year and a half now. We have one daughter( 2 1/2) but we want her to have a sibling close in age. Ever since my hubby and I have been TTC it seems like every friend and family member we know has become pregnant, everyone but us that is. Some of them started TTC after us and already holding their babies! Others were not even TTC and pregnant. I don't wish it was me instead of them, I just wish it could be me and them. The last 2 family members told us there were expecting and I didn't even feel happy for them. Yesterday I found out another family memeber is expecting! I feel like I can't bear to hear about another pregnancy. How to kick this feeling?

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Asked by Jen110786 at 6:52 PM on Jul. 13, 2009 in Trying to Conceive

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Answers (9)
  • Well, I would say be happy with the one you have. I had a miscarriage a few years ago and I would be jealous when I heard other people were pregnant. I am finally pregnant and am due in Oct. If I already had one I would not have been as jealous. I guess you just got to be grateful for what you have, I know couples who have been trying for years to have just one!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:55 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • I was told I'd never conceive bc of medical problems, and I watched as every one of my friends became pregnant around me. It was hard to watch them and sometimes I found I had to leave a room to keep from crying. I even yelled at one girl who said she wished she'd never had her daughter... and to this day we don't speak. I had several miscarriages and it got to the point that I didn't even want to be around pregnant women. We finally decided to adopt or foster, and then I turned up pregnant! My advice is to be gracious no matter how bad it hurts on the inside (and I know that it does!), and not to stress too badly about it. If its meant to happen it will, and it will happen faster without the stress, which can actually make it harder to conceive. Don't misplace your frustrations bc that can lead to ruined relationships that you might regret later on. Its hard right now, but it WILL get better. Feel free to msg me if you want!

    Answer by Emuu at 7:07 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • I felt that way too. We were going through miscarraiges and heartbroken and my closest cousin told me she was pregnant. I really wanted a spring baby and she was due in Feb. Then, we stopped trying and stressing over it and I didn't even think I was pregnant. I took 3 home tests over the winter holidays. All negative and 2 wks after New Years I took a blood test and found out I was preggos. Maybe the fact that I focused my energy on helping her with her baby shower and making her happy helped. Try to have good energy because I do believe in good Karma. It is a bummer that I have to be preggos in the summer, but worth it.

    Answer by tcarter1981 at 7:15 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • Many people don't understand that it hurts just as much when you can't conceive a second child, especially since it's such a surprise-- after all, you had the first one-- why can't you concieve the second? My best advice is to keep your chin up, and realize it's not really that you don't like these other women, you don't like the position you're in. You can be happy for someone but feel pity for yourself-- you don't have to feel juts one emotion at a time.

    Realize that life goes on for these people, even though it feels like it has stopped for you. Share in their joy, and they will share in your heartache to help you make it a little easier. If you find that you just can't take it, it's okay to decline an invitation to socialize. They'll understand that it's hard for you.

    In the mean time, find things to take care of you emotionally and physically.

    Answer by Busimommi at 7:20 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • I know its impossible but you just have to not thing about it. Me and hubby tried for so long and nothing but that was probably bcause I thought about it every minute of everyday. Until Christmas time. Were military so we live 100's of miles from our familes and the whole month of december I was working and running around like a nut shopping, and wrapping, and heading to the post office, decorating the house stressing over what to buy my impossible to shop for hubby that i actually concieved. I know how you feel, I would literally cry when I would hear everyone else around me getting pregnant having twins and triplets. It breaks your heart. Good Luck Darling!

    Answer by Jillybeans24 at 7:28 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • I have been there.

    its agony, and I don't think it ever really went away.

    I hope you get your baby soon.

    Answer by hypermamaz at 8:51 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • You should be grateful you already have one. Hubby and I have been TTC for 10 years now. We can't have kids at all. I had 3 pregnancies, all misscarriages. You have no idea how happy I would be if I could just have one. Cherish your child, some of us can't have that privelidge.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:03 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • ttc'd for about 3 years. finally got pregnant, ended in a stillbirth halfway through. ttcing again for the past 5 months, so far no luck. our only baby is in heaven. i was born to be a mommy, i know it in my heart and soul. i am almost 30. yea i go through times when i despise pregnant women. and especially people that fuss and whine about the kids they have. its pisses me off. i think i despised pregnant women more tho before i got pregnant. because now i have at least experienced that a little bit and have given birth to an angel. but my heart is so broken. why is that women that seem to be more 'deserving' of having babies are the ones that dont get to. and the ones that wont care for them as much or the teens that shouldnt have gotten pregnant can spit them out like theres no tomorrow.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:26 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • I can completely relate. We are also trying for # 2 and although it has not been as long as you, it is very frustating. It also took us years to have our first and I remember being so judgemental of anyone that complained about not being able to have a second child. I couldn't understand that the feeling could be the same whether or not you already had one. I do feel horrible for women who cannot have children at all, but it hurts no matter what. I used to feel jealous of all pregnant women, now I feel jealous of people having their second child. Celebrities irk me the most for some reason! I love my son so much, and am so incredibly grateful to have him and that's probably why I want another so badly. I also would love to be able to give him a sibling, as my sister and I are so close and I want him to have that special relationship. We are only human, and it is hard to see others getting what we so desperately crave,

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:32 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

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