Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do you handle your childs temper tantrums when you are in public?

My daughter just recently started throwing the worst fits in public. It is really bad, she has never had a problem before and now all of the sudden she has turn into this little monster...HELP!!!

Answer Question

Asked by LilsMommy2005 at 9:08 PM on Jul. 13, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • my son is 2 and is the same way Idk what to do either wish i did...

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:12 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • when my dd who is 4 startes i just walk away not very far and i tell her that if she can be a big girl and act like one then she can come with me if not then im going to leave u here for someone to take u home...the threat usally works a few time in the grocery stor that i know really well i have walked out of her site and heard her screaming but after a few minutes she startes looking for me and is so happy to find me she stops acting up

    Answer by rainmommy at 9:47 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • The same rules apply everywhere. The only difference for us is where the time out is served.
    Out in public, that might be right there in the aisle or strapped in the basket seat. Or I might haul her out to the car, she can pitch her fit there, and then we go back to shopping or whatever.

    Going home has several problems:
    (1) The punishment is too long away from the crime. She will forget why she is being put in time out by the time we get home.
    (2) I don't get to finish necessary errands - though I will drop less critical ones if I can spot trouble ahead.
    (3) It teaches her that pitching a fit gets the boring trip over with and gets her back home to her toys.
    (4) Worst of all, it teaches her that she can control the situation.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 10:19 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • I'm lucky that my little guy has not had any major tantrums in public. But I do have a plan if that should change. PLAN: when you go out call a friend or family member and have them at the ready. Then go with your child to do your outing. Try having a toy or some other comfort with her to ease anxiety and tension and to keep her buys/occupied. If your child should begin to get a little out of sorts sing a little tune...."Oh no! You might have to go. Oh might have to go home...." and then let that be her warning. Let her know if she cannot calm and listen (give specific instructions for what must be done) then call the friend who is ready to go. That friend should have been in the parking lot and comes in right as you are done calling her on her cell. That friend then escorts your child home, you complete your trip, and the child goes to time out once your friend returns home with her. This may happen a few

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:29 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • times but it won't happen more than a few. She will learn when you sing her "Oh no" song that she must calm down. You should plan a few outings with a friend or family member waiting and that you have several outings in a row within a few short days. This helps a lot. If you have no one who can do this (a husband works just as well) then take her home. Leave your cart, leave your things you got, bring her home and send her to time out. It is a pain and it is hard. But if you don't it gets worse as she gets older. It is about control. Give her choices, even silly ones, and let her have some control over "little" things and then she will be less likely to dig in her heals later when it is less convienent for you. As in what she wears, what drink to buy, what toy to bring in the car - many many choices every day. Silly but worth it. When it counts she will let you have control b/c she has had some previously.

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:35 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • frogdawg, I guess your Plan would work if you knew a lot of people that were willing to drop their life to help you deal with your kid. Sorry to sound blunt, but I don't see that plan working too well.

    Answer by ap9902 at 10:39 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • I tell my kid that I am going to spank him infront of everyone. I tell him that he will get a time out in the store if we are in a store. I stick to what I say. My son was doing this for attention right after my DD was born. He stil does it on occasion. When I can't handle it any more I put the kids in the car and go for a drive until he falls asleep (sometimes it takes hours). Once your child is buckled up she can't hit you, all that she can do is scream so just turn up your jams and tell the girl if she's quiet you'll get her some candy or something. Our husbands don't understand why we need to do these kinds of things. It's because we are around the kids 24-7 and need a break!

    Answer by JenFunSniffer at 12:45 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Never, ever give in to what your child wants at that moment, and ALWAYS follow through with the consequences for that behavior. Eventually they get it!! Good luck.........

    Answer by mommyof4138 at 10:57 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.