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If you can't afford to care for your children does that make you a bad parent?

I see a lot of posts on here about women / families going through financial difficulties that are planning to have additional children anyway. Do you think part of being a good parent is being able to provide for your children?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:48 PM on Jul. 13, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (27)
  • I personally woouldnt have another child with the money we make. Now if finances increase I would but not at this point. Only because i dont want to just have money to take care of my kid here and now, thats easy, whats hard is getting a savings account for career/college for the child, paying for viacord, putting in sports, thats all extra I know but I would like to provide that to all my children not just have a baby because I want one.
    Dom123123

    Answer by Dom123123 at 9:52 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • I personally think wth are you doing having more kids if you can't provide for the ones you have? Its not like taking care of young children is REALLY expensive (I go to flea markets, garage sales and use hand-me-downs from cousins to help cut costs). However, if you can provide for them, then have 10 or 20 I don't care!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:52 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • Well, I'm on the border with this one. There's various scenarios.
    Unless you're making VERY VERY good money... there's going to be a few times where there will always be a tight squeeze in money. Job loss, emergency medical bills, emergency car repairs...etc. If everyone waited until they were completely financially stable, some of us might be having kids in our 40's. . . some, maybe not ever. I don't think that makes them a bad parent, no. Just what society pegs them. "lower/middle" class. As long as their doing the best they can, I commend them. If not now, when?
    Another scenario is... having kids when they're on welfare, and they don't do a damn about making their situation better. They just know that the more kids you have, the more money they can get from the govt. Makes me mad. Everybody needs help, but there are some people who just take it way too far.
    I'll probably get virtually slapped, but I don't care! >:D
    K_Sawyer

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 9:55 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • i assume you're not worried about finances....?
    i also assume that 95% of families have financial difficulties currently.
    people find ways to get by, and the number of dollars in their pockets do not make or break them as parents.

    perhaps we should be more considerate of the hard financial times, and appreciate the things that we are given.
    i know a girl that got pregnant at 16, worked her BUTT off at a local convenience store and put herself through college.. NO help from loser mother. no help from anyone. she always found a way to make it through. her kids never went hungry. she's a GREAT mother.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:56 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • I think it depends on how you deal with it. I think you would be a bad parent if you make the environment bad. If the house is not clean, if you don't sacrifice for your children. I know before I had my son, I shopped all name brand in food and clothes. Now that I have my son, my husband went through a layoff in December and just got laid off again in June and I got laid off in April and now I shop the clearance racks at Walmart, cut coupons for food, and by generic brand stuff. I clean with water and vineger. I think it's how you deal with it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:56 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • I wouldn't label the person a bad parent, however I think providing financially for a child is very important. Being able to give you kids all of their basic needs is a part of good parenting. And I personally do think people need to consider their finances before having a child.
    TessLouise

    Answer by TessLouise at 9:57 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • shrugging

    scooterpooter

    Answer by scooterpooter at 9:58 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • It makes you an irresponsible parent. As long as you can afford shelter, clothing, and food for your entire family then it's up to you to decide the level of financial strain you're willing to live with. But if you're on welfare or food stamps (any "free" money) then I think it's wrong. Be able to provide on your own before having more kids. My SIL has lived off of the government for 17 years and gets more money when she has more kids. She doesn't lift a finger to clean the house or take care of them (her toddler watches tv all day and puts herself down for a nap in a box when she's tired). I couldn't have less respect for her. So maybe she's jaded my opinion, but I do think people should be self-sufficient before having kids.
    goldenfox

    Answer by goldenfox at 10:04 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • yes, I think you should be able to provide for your child before you PLAN on having one. But, I do know things do not always go as planned, people lose their jobs and yes, people even get pregnant at the "wrong" time. But yes, I do think it is not right to be on full welfare (no income of your own, no prospects) and have a (or another) child.
    wildboyz1994

    Answer by wildboyz1994 at 10:08 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

  • Yes, I think you should be in a place where you feel you will be able to provide the basic food, clothing, childcare if needed, and shelter for the kid. We had kids on a tight budget, but we budgeted, and were able to make the money all stretch. Had we gone on welfare, we would have had no more children.

    I think KNOWINGLY having children when you cannot care for the ones you have right now is criminal. But like a PP said, pregnancies happen at the wrong times sometimes. I was able to use BC and plan exactly when I got pregnant, but that is not always the case.
    LiliM

    Answer by LiliM at 10:38 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

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