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should I - about my relationship with my DH

my DH and i have been married 8 yrs together 10yrs. We have two children. Our youngest has been very difficult to get in his own bed. It was so hard to have us all sleeping together, he would just sleep in the other room. Now it has just become "normal". At first I really hated it, but with the baby in the bed, it was easier, and I got the sleep I needed. Now i have worked really hard to get him to sleep in his own bed. Most nights are good. But DH still in other room. Really starting to bother me - and to top it off, the rare. In fact, I was all ready last night, we are laying there...and he tells me it will just have to be another night. totally disappointed. It has been a few weeks already. Not completely abnormal, but very abnormal to already be in bed and be told...maybe later. I am trying not to worry - is it his age (40) or do you think I should worry?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:01 AM on Jul. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • i dont know. not enough info. you should talk to him about it. ask him why.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 12:08 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • I don't know either. My husband is 40 and doesn't seem to be anything wrong with his libido. It's VERY possible that the affection has been put away so long that it's hard to find now - maybe after some time, romance, dating, getting to know each other again it will rekindle. It's hard when you've been sleeping apart. You still love the person, but for some reason that cuddle, sleep with legs over each other time that once helped you maintain intimacy has been put on a shelf - it may be hard to restart it - but it's possible. Talk to him, and be patient with him and with yourself.

    This is the very reason, when someone asks if they should let a child sleep with them - I always say no.

    Answer by PaceMyself at 12:28 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • I let my kids sleep with me on a rare occasion. My DH usually has no problem with it and it is after all the luvin'. It usually only happens if they have a nightmare. Your DH might have some problems. Every person is different and the only way to be sure of anything is to talk to him. Maybe he has gotten so tired of the fact that he has to sleep in the other room that he has no interest, or maybe he has found some other way to fulfill his needs. I hate to put doubt in your mind, but you have to be honest with yourself.


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 1:06 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • sneak in the bathroom and have naughty "date" night! Make things fun again.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:30 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • It's not his age - my dh is 40 and we've had sex 9 times in the last 3 days. But I would definitely work on the intimacy and see if you can't reconnect that way and hope the sex will come. Usually for a man, it works the other way (sex then intimacy) but maybe he's just so used to not having it.

    Answer by missanc at 10:52 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

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