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Birth Father Issues

My DD has never met her biofather. He made it very clear from the get go that he wanted nothing to do with her and we were both young and I thought he might still have a chance at a decent future, so I let it go and didnt put a name on the BC.

I started dating someone when I was 6 months preg and we were together up until a month ago.

As far as she knows thats her Dad, but he doesn't want to see her now that we aren't together anymore.

I've had to move back in with my parents and times are really hard.

I'm considering trying to get CS from her biofather but not sure how I would explain it to her if he wanted to see her. (The likely case would be his PARENTS wanting to be in her life, not him)

I could really use some advice on the situation.


Asked by Cherrie522 at 12:32 AM on Jul. 14, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 2 (10 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • Do go after BioDad and get support. If he said he didn't want to have anything to do with her then you shouldn't have to worry. If he does want to see her then good. It may be difficult but you definitely should tell her who her real Daddy is. If he doesn't step up his bad...but at least you did the right thing. She will have the right to confront him if she decides so when older. Maybe his parents would be an asset and amazing grandparents. They will have to take you to court to get any type of visitation unless you want to cooperate and let them in. Seeking support is a win win for you and your daughter. If he is unfit you can bring that to the table at court and he may not get to see her except for supervised visits. The one she thinks is dad isn't going to be there so why let her think that just explain this to her now not when she is a teen ya know? That can be traumatizing. You will get child support from BioDad.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:47 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Its going to be difficult but she will eventually have to know. If his parents wanted to be in her life then atleast thats a start.

    Answer by lilmsnay83 at 1:06 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Poor kid. You need to tell her she has the right to know who her bio dad is.

    My dad had an affair my little 13 year old bro is the result of that affair. He is a great kid but totally screwed up because of the affair. My dad stayed with my mom and wanted to share custody. My mom was going to accept my little brother and her and my dad worked things out. My little bros mom was furious and with her husband fought my dad and got sole custody. They said my dad had no rights since my bros mom was married. Paternity was established did not matter for my dad.

    My little bro found out last year he had a bio dad out there. He met us all and now lives full time with my dad. He hates his mom and her husband. He hates they kept him from his dad and other family. I hated that I could not tell him and saw him everyday at his school. I was his teacher one year. Be honest this isn't about you it is about her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:37 AM on Jul. 14, 2009