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Showing affection in a marriage

I have been married almost 3 years and have 2 kids. I just had a baby 3 weeks ago. I thought that after the baby was born that my husband would show me more affection but I was wrong. I am back to my skinny self. He won't kiss me or cuddle with me nothing. I have asked him why he isn't more affectionate with me and he says that he can't stand the fact that I smoke cigarettes, he doesn't like the smell. I shower and brush my teeth so that he doesn't have to smell it and he still is not affectionate. He drinks a lot and I don't say anything to him about it. I don't know what to do anymore. I miss him. I am starting to think that it is me, that he doesn't find me attractive anymore or that there may be someone else. I am frustrated.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:48 AM on Jul. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Cigarettes is just a big turn off to some people. It is to me. my SO smoked a cigar one time and I didnt give him sex for a week and we usually do it daily. I also would not kiss him for the rest of the night until I was sure the smell was gone. Its just gross to me so maybe ur hubbys the same way
    Dom123123

    Answer by Dom123123 at 1:51 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • I think there is more then just the cigarette smoke cuz my husband used to smoke and I HATE the smell of smoke but I still kissed him, you guys should try and figure out what is really making him feel that way and you should speak from the heart tell him that his drinking is bothering you just a suggestion

    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 1:52 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • well first of all if he feels that strongly about it then jus quit if he means that much to you and you miss him then jus quit. and second of all when people start picking and arguing about the lil things its usually not the lil things thats really pissing them off...theres somethin bigger behind it...you 2 need to talk!
    kuuipo317

    Answer by kuuipo317 at 3:02 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Did you just start up smoking or had you always smoked? If he was into being affectionate before and you had smoked then - I'd figure something else was up and the reason for your smoking was just an excuse. However - if you just started smoking and you didn't before, I can see how he'd be turned off.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 12:56 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

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