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this is a question for the step moms out there...

so recently ive been getting this like irritated feeling...like i find myself thinkin "if he was my son...." or "i wish he was my son..." cuz im not really married yet(although we are talkin about it) and theres some things that make me think that for example. my boyfriend told me (his son is 14 by the way) that his son is gonna get his tongue peirced and he already has his ears peirced and his eyebrow peirced and im like omg if he was my son i wouldnt let him ruin his beautiful face! and then we are talkin about moving in together and idk if his son is gonna wanna live with us..i doubt it cuz like any typical kid he's mad cuz now its hitting him that mommy and daddy are really over but im like i want him to live with us but i know he's gonna live with his mom and idk why that bothers me i never met the women and dont plan on it but again i never met her idk if she's a great mom or a bad mom but i sometimes wish he was mine

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:54 AM on Jul. 14, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Hmm, Im not a step mom. But I am married to a man who has a step mom, I have a step mom my best friend has a step mom. So maybe if you hear it from someone who is on the other side.... My step mom did try and take my moms place....not good. But she realized it and backed down, she became I guess you would call it an aunt figure, some discipline, and friend.We get along great. My best friends step mom.......thinks they should be friends, and all I hear about is my friend wanting her to be a mother figure not a friend....my husbands step mom, I think is the greatest lady ever. She loves him like he was her own (and she has 3 boys of her own) she 'spoils' but yet she did her 'disciplining when needed. So, in the end...........love him like he is your own, do the regular 'spoiling' that parents do and if there is something like piercings going on, say something but you may have to let that one be....
    MissOlivia

    Answer by MissOlivia at 6:11 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • continue...that way he would live with us and i could spoil the hell out of him. lol i want to baby him and jus have fun hangin out...ive always wanted a son and idk maybe thats why i want him to live with us and to spoil him. but the other thing is the bigger problem im starting to think alot lately ..."if he was my son i wouldnt let him do that" etc
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:57 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • am i the only like this ..is it weird to feel that way? whats your situation and how do you feel about it?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:57 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • sorry another continued post....i know its not my place and i have no right to butt in so i keep it to myself but it irritates the hell out of me
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Well he is 14 so he had almost been completely raised. I have a 15 year old step son that lives with us and me and his Dad make the decisions together so their is no conflict. It is way different when the step child lives with their mom because you feel like you have no say but if you feel that something is wrong than speak up or it will eat you alive, and it is nice to baby them but you dont want to be their friends you do want to be parent figure. I have experienced that if you dont love and discipline like they are your own than things get worse! Now make it known that you are NOT taking their mothers place because if you don't make that known than the step child will resent you. I have 2 step lids that live at home with us ( which their mom dose not have much contact at all, that is her own doing) and after 4 years things are great!

    SD777

    Answer by SD777 at 3:08 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Sounds like your doing a lot of Day Dreaming. Why don't you just take your relationship day by day.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:10 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • how do you figure daydreaming? is it day dreaming when we are talkin about moving in together in 2 months is it daydreaming when we picked out the rings?! dont be a bitch i dont need it...if no one has anything nice to say then jus move along i dont want to hear it
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:14 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • The main key to a healthy relationship with SOs or you own kids, and step kids is communication! Speak up how you feel because if you don't than it will eat you alive. You have to voice your opinions about parenting.

    SD777

    Answer by SD777 at 3:14 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • thank you sd77 and i know he's already been raised but still i want to take what time i can with him while he's still living at home ya know? and i know what you mean about spoiling but still being a parent...trust me i know im old fashion and kinda strict so i know where that thin line is but still spoiling isnt that bad as long as you can seperate the 2 right?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:17 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • besides that...thats one of my things...like both his parents are tryin to be his friend especially now...kinda like his dad is grateful for him living with him and his mom jus wants to win him over..so really wheres the parenting structure in that....thats why like i said i think..if he was my son....but i did talk to him and i told him we WILL NOT be raising our baby like that thats for sure
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:19 AM on Jul. 14, 2009