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Is this too much to ask for?

Ok, so I've always been a bigger woman...tall and big boned, I'm not morbidly obese, and people tell me I'm well balanced and pretty, but I just can get past the fact that I'm not the "cookie cutter" girl. I swear it seems like thats all men want, 5'4, 105lbs, petite girls. It's really not fair, and I don't mean to sound like I'm whining, but seriously most men won't even give me a chance and I feel like thats the reason why. I have lots of guy friends, but since my divorce, and even before I got married I've never had much luck with men and I feel like thats the reason why. Am I being over sensitive about this or does anyone else feel like this too?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:46 AM on Jul. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I didn't date anyone seriously until I met my husband. I had a lot of trouble getting dates, and it had nothing to do with me physically. I'm 5'8" and (at the time) I was 135-140 lbs. Not altogether undesirable, right? It was my personality. I'm a pretty confident person, and most guys found me TOO confident. Their tiny egos couldn't handle a strong personality like mine. Have you ever asked your guy friends? They might have a different take on it, but just be sure you can handle the answers they might give you. That's how I learned what my "problem" was.

    Answer by ACL2007 at 8:50 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Let me give you some advice a stripper once gave me: Being attractive to the opposite sex is 90% attitude, and only 10% looks. If you act like you believe you are gorgeous, then men will start to take notice. Don't be upset that you aren't the "cookie cutter" girl. If men wanted cookie cutters they'd go into the kitchen :) Have a lot of self confidence and you'll attract the type of guy who truly is attracted to YOU and not some media version of what women are "supposed" to look like.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:54 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • I agree with the previous poster...your attitude is far more important than your looks!

    I met and became engaged to my now husband of 10 years in 5 months! I'll never forget when I went in to work the following Monday, (showing off my engagement ring, of course! LOL), and the office "b!tch" who happens to be the "cookie cutter" type said: "Well, if YOU can become engaged, then there's still hope for me!!!!"

    I ALMOST popped her one with my 3 carat diamond!!!! LMAO!

    This "cookie cutter" was ALL attitude as well, but the WRONG attitude!! To my knowledge she married and divorced some loser within the past 5 years! Karma sucks!!! LOL

    Answer by LoriKeet at 9:10 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • I wasn't always big until i had my first husband and that was one of the reasons why he left me cause i got big we got divorced and i met another guy I was a size 14 and he liked me for who I am i have dated alot of guys but i try to act like i am confident even though i have a really low self esteem . there are alot of guys who like big women you just don't shoot every guy down if they say you look nice just say thanks even if you don't believe it or not. I am now married to my 2nd husband and I am alot bigger since we met and he loves me for me and all of me he likes me big even though it makes me unhappy being big but I figure once i get the motivation and will power i will lose the weight my husband said i will love you no matter what size you are.

    Answer by princess_sjb at 9:46 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • See thats what I want! I want someone who loves me as I am right now, I will lose some weight too, but I'm ok with where I am right now. I want to find someone who loves me for me, not only if I'm going to lose weight or not!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:50 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Okay...lets all be honest here...some women have the look that MOST men are looking for and some women don't. It doesn't mean you can't find someone, it does mean you don't get as much attention as the cookie cutter "perfect" women. I don't say that to be mean...In fact I am far from the cookie cutter myself...and I haven't always gotten a lot of attention from men. My point is that it is bad enough that you get less attention....and then you have people telling you that it isn't your looks (which you are already insecure about) it is your personality (which you though was okay....). Now you not only are big-boned and too tall, you are also "insecure" and "lack confidence". So now you have to fix your personality and attitude too! I am joking and serious at the same time. If you don't fit the mold, it IS harder...but not impossible! Be patient, be yourself and don't let it hold you back. Honor the stuggle! Engage in life!

    Answer by BJoan at 1:19 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • I agree with the attitude comments. Before I was married I saw men pass up those cookie cutter women to spend time with me. I've got less uptight attitude than most women, and I'll do things in bed that most women don't do- not saying you have to do what makes you uncomfortable, but you don't know you like something until you try it-

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:28 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

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