Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

if a love is so strong how can it be wrong?

ok go ahead and bash me idc i love him so much & yes i mean the other guy not my dh, hes everything my dh is not! i want him so bad i can't stand it. but it's "wrong" so i don't pursue it but how do i get these feelings to go away?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:50 AM on Jul. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • If you feel that strongly you could get a divorce.

    Answer by ajguinn at 8:54 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • If you are capable of feeling like that towards anyone other than your DH, then that should send up red flags for you. Deal with getting out of that relationship first, then concentrate on the feelings for another. My DH was dealing with a divorce when I first met him, and I waited until he'd solved his issues with her before getting involved. It made for a much more stable ground once we did get together, and I've never regretted the wait. Feelings are never "wrong" (unless they break some code of law or severe moral stance, such as pedophilia, etc) but its your actions and how you follow your feelings that will make the difference.

    Answer by Emuu at 9:02 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Maybe you should ask yourself what happened to make your DH so undesirable. Make a list of things that bother you that he does/doesn't do and try to figure out if they're really important. Then talk to him about the important ones and see what he says. If you need more attention, tell him. Guys are dumb. They have no idea what we need unless we tell them, and I mean specifically.

    I wonder sometimes if we don't just end up falling for other guys because we think the grass is greener, but the NEW love is fresh and working to get us to fall for them.... in a few years they'll be just the same. Just a thought. Don't be offended.

    Answer by ACL2007 at 9:03 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • u want him cause ist wrong....its dangerous...theres a isnt is is pure....u need to figure out what u want....what u really want...a man who will stand by u or the guy whos the opposite?

    Answer by Mamaof2boys0709 at 9:04 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Oooh. One more thought. Before you decide to cut off your relationship with your husband, make sure this other guys feelings are mutual. Wouldn't that STINK if you divorced your DH and then found out the guy wasn't interested ?? PROTECT YOURSELF.

    Answer by ACL2007 at 9:04 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • lmao omg that would really suck if i left my man & he didn't want me ewww lol, but i know he does i don't think i would ever leave my hubby i think mamaof2boys is right i want him cause i can't have him & that just pisses me off! he started this shit 6 months ago, i have been really really good.but its getting harder everyday.oh well hells bells i guess i could turn my head & not look at his tanned 6 pack or green eyes or that crooked lil grin,,,, lmao who the hell am i trying to kid?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:21 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • I would not worry so much about protecting yourself..
    How about being honest with your DH..

    I feel he has a right to know how his own wife feels about him..

    I am not one to run off and get a divorce without first trying together to work out the marriage..

    But it seems to be that your heart is not with your DH...

    I do not think that is fair...he is your husband and your heart should be with him..
    I would not pursue anything until you finish what is infront of your face...

    If you do pursue it then it would mean that you will have to be unfaithful to your husband,
    you already are emotionally unfaithful..

    Mom always told me to follow my heart, if your heart is not with DH, you need to take
    steps to make yourself happy. I do feel that your DH should be told.

    good luck to you

    Answer by Dannee at 9:22 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Your feelings follow your thoughts, so you have to stop thinking about the other guy and start thinking about your husband. Think about how you felt about him when you first decided he was the man of your dreams. Think about the positive character traits that he still has. Think about how things could be just as good with him as with the other guy. Then do some things for your husband. Go out of your way to be nice to him. Make his favorite meal. Dress yourself in his favorite outfit on you. Think of all the things that you could do to please him, show appreciation for him, and show him that you want to recapture what may have been lost. I can tell you for certain that if you got with the dream guy, it would not be long until his inadequacies began to show up all over the place. We are all quite good at hiding our warts for a time, but they will eventually start showing themselves. So just love your husband!!!!

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:30 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Oh hon, your in a very bad situation! I'm sure you've heard the saying "The grass is always greener on the other side"....well, believe me it's true. I know you feel you love this guy, and in fact, maybe you do. But you are not in a position to persue this new relationship. Try to think clearly about this, if this new guy were not involved, if you had never met him, would you still want to leave your dh? You really need to deal with your marriage first.....tell the new guy to back off for a bit, get your head straight, and decide if you want to leave your marriage or not...keeping in mind that you wouldn't be going to the new guy. I"m not judging you in any way...I"ve been through alot in my life, and I am telling you what I would tell my own dd.

    Answer by robinann5 at 10:29 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.