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need advice met an amazing guy but...

he has one problem and thats he smokes pot....and thats one thing im deeply against..well drugs and alcohol in general.....other wise he is sooo sweet and a overall good person and makes me happy... im stuck ......???

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:12 AM on Jul. 14, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Yes, it' not going to go away. Really though, it's not that big of a deal. My SO smokes pot sometimes, & it does not bother me. He has a great job, is great to me. But he does not do it all the time, i don't know how bad his addiction to it is. If he does it all day, then you might want to move along. But really, more people smoke it than you realize. You can't assume he is a loser because of it.

    My sister in law used to smoke it all the time, but now her new husband told her to quit or he wouldn't marry her. Now she does not smoke, but really resents the fact that he will not allow her to. He drinks alcohol, she does not. She prefers pot for some reason. So, take that into account too. The addiction will never go away for him if he LOVES to smoke. Quitting is really hard to do when it's for someone else, & not yourself. Keep that in mind too. Good Luck!

    PS: do a pro & con list.....
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 11:50 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Myabe you could ask him to cut back? Just tell him it makes you uncomfortable.

    Dh use to smoke pot, but when we started dating, he knew how much I didn't like it, and he quit for me. I never asked him to, but he knew i wanted nothing to do with drugs.
    MommyLee08

    Answer by MommyLee08 at 11:17 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • just don't have your children in the car when he gets pulled over and pot is in the car. Are they worth losing bc he's so sweet?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:21 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • If this is a problem in the begining and you know that he does it, then its not going to go away. let him know that you have a problem with it and if hes not going to stop for you then let it go. you have children to worry about and they come first. bad habbits often lead to worse habbits, sooo....i dont know. im not sure id let it go for a man.
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 11:25 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • You are only stuck if you allow yourself to be stuck..
    Is he a 247 pot smoker, a wake and bake pot smoker...

    But really regardless if you are against it, how can you be with someone that does it..

    You may say now....that you are ok with it....but trust me...if will come back and haunt you...

    I say
    NEXT!!!
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 11:29 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • we arent serious yet and just kind of casual dating and i told him that i cant be around it cause then ill want to start again i been clean now 8 years and want to stay that way.... should i just out right tell him thats a no go and see where the cards fall?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:38 AM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • I'm the pot smoker in the family, but only when we have extra money, and I have time, etc. I know alot of pot smokers who cannot live without it. They buy it by the ounce per week, and cannot function without it. If he is like that, and not responsible with his money (like he just bought a bag and needs u to help pay for dinner or something, or his phone gets turned off), He has a problem that you dont need, no matter how nice he is. If he's stoned everytime he sees u, that could be why he's nice... If he only does it socially or once in a while, I can't see it being a problem. Guys and pot are usually less responsible than women who do it, something I've noticed when I was dating. Just get to know him a little better, and if u see signs of him putting pot before actual priorities, dump him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:22 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • It is an illegal substance even though I believe that it should be legalized. But as long as it is illegal, I would insist that he not smoke it around you or your children. Also, as you get to know him - take notice if he seems a little too into his pot. You don't want to fall in love with someone who is addicted to a substance any more than someone who has a drinking problem.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 12:50 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • You already know it is a deal breaker for you, so why not be honest with him? He will probably choose pot over your relationship...and that will make things pretty clear. If not, problem solved!
    BJoan

    Answer by BJoan at 12:51 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • If you don't like it , then don't get involved. It wont go away trust me.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 1:10 PM on Jul. 14, 2009