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Does wanting to go on a date with my DH make me selfish?

My Dh and I recently celebrated our 1st anniversary, and we didn't have alot of money, so we took the kids to a festival for about an hour and had dinner at home. We haven't been out on a "date" just the two of us, for almost a year due to money. We made plans to go see Harry Potter this Friday, and we were going to go out to dinner, just the two of us. Well this morning my husband decided that he cannot live without a weedwhacker (we've been borrowing my dad's) and I told him that if he really must have one, then we can't see Harry Potter (money is about to get real tight when I lose my unemployment $ in 2 weeks). Well he's out right now buying a weedwhacker and I wanna whack him, because I really wanted to spend alone time with him on Friday. I'm SAHM and I dont get out as it is. I know we needed the tool, but I was fine with borrowing a little longer. What do u think?

 
mumma28

Asked by mumma28 at 12:13 PM on Jul. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Level 8 (240 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • To answer your question, no i dont think that makes you selfish. But I dont think his buying the weedeater selfish either. He's looking at the bigger picture, something that will benefit your family longer than just a movie and dinner. I think both of you should have talked about it more, but just going by what you said, you didnt really say "i would rather you didnt because _________" , You just said if you get this we can't do that. You can still spend time alone together, just because you're not going to a movie doesnt mean you cant do ANYTHING together....personally I would rather just go sit at a park and spend quality time together then sit in a movie theater.
    abbynzachsmommy

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 12:52 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • I think that he was selfish..

    My fiance would have never done that, you can borrow his dads...what is the big deal..

    When he gets home wack some sense in his ass..

    I would feel that the damn weed wacker was more important..
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 12:16 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • It sounds to me that he is only thinking of him not you.
    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 12:16 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • they say you should date at least once a month without the kids.


    last weekend we went out alone and had a sitter. and it did so much good for us. we were dancing together...kissing....laughing.....got home, had some WONDERFUL love making then fell asleep holding one another.

    its good for any relationship to date. and its not selfish, you ahve to maintain your marriage not just your parenting skills.
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 12:16 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • so dating....tahts not selfish.

    now giving up a date for a weed whaker..THAT I SELFISH
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 12:16 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • aww. im sorry. i completely understand!! i was a SAHM until recently. my outings were WALMART and foodlion! and my SO wouldnt want to go with me, i couldnt get him to understand that since money was so tight that was the only time i got to spend out of the house and having him along wouldve been special!! i dont know....it sucks when they dont get it. you should def. let him know why you wanted to go so bad!!!!
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 12:16 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • no you'er not selfish at all and tell him how you feel don't start holding in now be truthful from the beginning.
    luvmygrlz

    Answer by luvmygrlz at 12:17 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • I'd be bummed too! DH and I are going to see HP and have a date night and I'd be ticked if he'd rather spend the money on something that he wanted. And it wouldnt be about the tool itself, just that it would be, in my eyes, more important to buy than spending a evening with me on a date, something we probably both need and would benefit from.
    MommyLee08

    Answer by MommyLee08 at 12:18 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • It sounds like you offered a choice - date night or the weed whacker. So I don't think it is really fair to say he is being selfish when he was offered a choice. What about packing a picnic lunch and going to a park? Can you plan something else that is free and still get out?? I hope you can. We are in a similar situation. My parents gave my husband a gift card to a resteraunt so we will be able to go out!!!! YAY!
    micheledo

    Answer by micheledo at 12:22 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • I think that was very selfish of him. A lot of times when the man works outside the home and the woman doesn't, they forget that we often go for days without really leaving the house on our own. We need breaks and vacations just like he does! Also, its good for a relationship for you to go on dates with each other! Me and my DH go to the dog park with our puppy and have a picnic once a month at least. Everyone needs alone time. Perhaps instead of going to a movie yall can compromise and go somewhere cheaper (or free!)? Parks make great picnic spots, or lakes, or maybe a friend has a beach house etc that you can use? Even if you go out to McD's for a few hours and then take a long walk together, its still time together and will add good memories :) I babysit once a month for a friend of mine who goes off with her DH to Waffle House. They pretend to pick each other up there and buy each other coffee lol!
    Emuu

    Answer by Emuu at 12:24 PM on Jul. 14, 2009