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is this abuse?

my hubby hid the pack of cigs i got yesterday and blamed it on my kids then said that i was psycho if i couldnt remember where i put them finally after 2 hours of fighting he gave them back, i knew had taken them. and today he took all but 2 out and took the rest with him to work and now he callin me a bitch for smoking th last 2 when he took about 8 or so with him....im so frustrated and scared that when he gets home he is going to lay into me for having the 2 left and not saving any for him and im broke so cant get any more(im a SAHM)

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:16 PM on Jul. 14, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • yes it's abuse and it's called "gaslighting". They even made a movie about it. They attempt to make you doubt your sanity. They hide things and then make you think you lost them, etc.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:45 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • It sounds like you fight over cigarettes. I wouldn't call it abuse. I do think you should try to come up with some kind of comprimise.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 1:18 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • sounds like you two need to quit
    JULIAN01

    Answer by JULIAN01 at 1:19 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Well, quitting smoking is always an option- and usually the best.

    However, yes, that is abuse. Emotional abuse. He's trying to control you, and who knows how long it is until he tries to do it physically.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • so i just let him chew me out and beat me up cause he likes to control me and does this stuff all the time to make me feel intimidated?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:21 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Abuse no, being an asshole yes. Sounds like he smokes too and doens't want to share. I assume you two are on a budget and they are expensive. Sounds like you both need to cut back or quite and save the money and fighting for something else.
    DevilInPigtails

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 1:22 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • op here
    so him coming home tonight after work and beatin the shit out of me and him rudiculing me and calling me names isnt abuse? he has his own cigs and didnt need mine....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Ok, well, you didn't SAY he was hitting you. Everything you said only pointed to emotional and mental abuse. Obviously if he is hitting you its abuse. Why are you staying?
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 1:27 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • cause i have no where to go....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:28 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • do you have an abused womens shelter in your area? I bet you do.

    So guess what? You have somewhere to go. Give them a call.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 1:31 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

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