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Can you fall out of love with your spouse?

I haven't been married that long but the things my husband has put me through makes me wonder why I married him. He chose his friends over me and the kids, partied all the time, cheated, and now tries to control me. I can talk to him as a parent, but I can't talk to him as a spouse. He brings up all the things we have been through, but those situations didn't help our relationship get stronger, only made it weaker. How do you know when its time to move on? We have tried marriage counseling for the first year of our marriage and he has made some changes, but I dont feel the same love for him anymore.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:17 PM on Jul. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Sounds like it's time to move on.
    kittyhasclaws

    Answer by kittyhasclaws at 1:18 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • I AGREE WITH THE PREVIOS POSTER.
    older

    Answer by older at 1:28 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • yep. Move along. I see this allot that people get married in the hopes that their partner will change. They don't. I'm sorry your going through this. Stay strong girl.

    lostshel

    Answer by lostshel at 1:30 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Talk with your religious adviser if you have one. If you have tried all you can, then maybe a trial separation.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 1:31 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Perhaps it wasn't love at all. It may be time to see if life brings true love. Appreciate this relationship for what it was but it sounds like it wasn't the real thing. It's time to go find that.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:50 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • may sound silly, but do you and your husband ride bikes? we got a couple of bikes at a neighborhood garage sale Last summer. My DH pouted about it every time I got him to ride with me. This year I started riding without him and once he saw how much fun I was having, like a little kid decided that he wanted in on the fun too!
    we were doing badly last summer, so now instead of the bike being time when I would question our relationship, he's out with me.
    We act like a couple of kids- things like when I go first he says 'lead on McDoofus!' I actually started that, but it's still fun. or we'll pass each other and squirt each other with our water bottles. It's made a big difference- maybe you could find something that makes you feel like 2 kids playing together.........
    LadyAronna

    Answer by LadyAronna at 4:38 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Marriage is "in good times and in bad," but that really only works if you still love each other. Talk to a counselor by yourself if you can, to try to sort out your feelings. You need to find out if you have, indeed, fallen out of love before making any major decisions. Unfortunately, from what I have read, it does seem likely that it is time to move on.
    kikikiki

    Answer by kikikiki at 6:37 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

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