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my daaughter started dating this boy he asked for my permision but her dAD doesent know she is 16 how can i tell him?

this boy asked her to be his girlfriend i said yes he talked to me but she is afraid her dad will get mad how can i tell him that she is dating

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FIVEHAPPYHEARTS

Asked by FIVEHAPPYHEARTS at 2:14 PM on Jul. 14, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 6 (122 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • First of all,, you should talk to him(your DH) before you talk to your DD and her,,so called boyfriend. It should be agreed upon by both of you.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 2:18 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • She is 16 years old. Her dad should expect that his daughter is growing up and is interested in boys. Just tell him straight up that she has a boyfriend. Invite the boyfriend over for dinner so Dad can have the talk
    NAT24ROXY24

    Answer by NAT24ROXY24 at 2:20 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Are you and dad together or divorced? You should tell him regardless BUT if you are still together you should've talked to your dh before you gave your daughter permission.
    Emberbaby

    Answer by Emberbaby at 2:21 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • All aspects of the children should be discussed before having them. Even so you should have told him about the boyfriend. We always had a rule that my daughter was not dating till she was 16 and everyone knew it so there were no surprises.
    itsmesteph11

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 2:49 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Well, I think this young man have already scored some points, because he at least asked your permission, most of these young men don't know of being respectful or showing honor.Also,tell your DH it shows in your DD that you guys have done a good job instilling values in her, because, if you didn't,she could have started dating without asking you either.Take nothing for granted and be grateful for everything,meaning,your DD sounds like a very mature,respectable young lady.

    lady-t3984

    Answer by lady-t3984 at 5:20 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • It makes no difference if you are divorced or not, you should have talked to the father first. Either way, you still need to be a parenting team. Now, you have put her father in the place of being the 'bad guy' if he does not think it is appropriate, instead of presenting a united parenting team. If he disapproves, the smart thing to do is back him, and talk to him in private. Remember, HE used to be a teenage boy, not you.
    squish

    Answer by squish at 9:52 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • My kids always come to me first, and then I go break in dad for them. So although I see nothing wrong with the course it took, you do need to just go to dad and say "XYZ" and talk about it. The fact is she is 16 a GREAT age to start dating, so if dad balks it's more out of fear then anything else and you will have to help soothe those fears first.

    Oddly 2 of mine could start dating at the same time (16) but my husband freaked when my DD got her first BF, but had no issue with our son, who had his first GF long before my dd did....can we say double standard :). It was very funny! He's ok with it now and the BF comes over all the time, it just took a little more patience for dad to realize his little girl was growing up! I actually have a harder time with my son dating.....odd.
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 11:06 AM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • I can't believe you left dad out of something this important. He's going to be so pissed at YOU. You should have had her sit down with you and dad and the bf and discuss it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:00 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • I am really trying to understand some of these replies,I have 7 daughters, and I remember quite well,how each of them came in my room and told me about a special boy, I also,remember always going to my mother and asking her permission for everything,she would be the who told my DAD.As, I see it, this is why a man marries a a good woman,because he knows ,she will make mature,honest,loving choices,what would you do,if the DH was away.Mom ,you did right, this is the way,my parents did things, and this is the way I did things with my 7 daughters,we all have lasting loving relationships,oh,the joy you will feel when your DD come to you blushing and telling you about her first love,you did right mama.And,if your DH get upset,its not at you,it's the fact his baby-girl is growing up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:31 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • All I can tell you is that Dad was the head of this home when our children were growing up, so this would not have happened here. Since you have already granted your permission, I think the best way for you to handle it is to go to your husband and tell him what you have done, just stating the facts. After that, whatever happens, happens. I can only imagine what that could be like, so you should be prepared for the worst that your husband is capable of. I wouldn't know what that would be, but just be prepared. I can tell you that he will see it not only as an act of deceit but as an act of disrespect, and that it is of utmost importance to a man.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:15 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

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