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Down to the last few weeks!!!

Our hearing is August 28 for the adoption hearing for my SS. Everything is taken care of and the back ground check will be done this week. What happens in the court room? My hubby adopted my son but, there was no hearing the judge just signed the papers and we left. We have a different judge this is time and apparently he likes to talk to the adoptive parent to make sure they understand what is going on.
I am afraid he is going to question why we did this after Bm died. She died before she could be served. Anyways, any HELP or ADVISE would be great! Nay sayers can stay away I don't care what you think of me or the situation. BM was not a good mother and abandoned her son.
And will the GA court send the papers to LA to change his BC and name or will I have to take them to LA myself?

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Asked by matthewscandi at 2:32 PM on Jul. 14, 2009 in Adoption

Level 26 (27,814 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I wish I could be more help....but I just wanted to say Good luck!! :)

    Answer by LaceyAM at 2:40 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • if im not mistaken, they do it automatically.. there is probably a filing fee....good luck!

    Answer by VictinaG at 2:43 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • The filings and everything have already been taken care of this is the only and only hearing.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 2:49 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • I can understand that you might be nervous talking to the judge, but just talk about the love you have for your SS and that you want your family to be as legally together as your are physically together. I don't know what they do about the birth certificates.

    PS-(Please don't take this wrong!) Don't degrade or demean the bmom in ANY way EVER, it will reflect badly on your SS/AS. It doesn't matter how 'bad" of a mother she was, or if there was no love lost between you. I have seen children "pick up the tab" for the genes they were born with, and your adoption of him will not erase her birthing him. You will however be the loving mother who raises him, and part of that good parenting is making good out of something bad. Even if the only positive thing you can ever honestly say is "I will always love your bmom because w/o her, I wouldn't have you! And you wouldn't have those cute dimples!" I know you will! and Good luck! :)

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 3:40 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • I don't talk bad about the BM. She is dead my SS never really knew her so, he doesn't ask about her.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 2:10 AM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • You aren't going to like this,but, we are taught as foster parents,never talk bad of the bio-parents,if,his mom is so bad and now she is dead,what harm is she doing you,for you to speak agaisnt the dead like this is awful.Also, we are taught in fostercare, that every child has a beginning,that means your SS needs a life-book,in the life-book should be pictures of his mother,even pregnant pictures,every child under the sun wants to know,where I come from. If, you love this child,put away your feelings and make the book for him,he can even help you,he don't have to know how bad his mom was,if, you keep telling him bad things about his mom,he will be hurt and resent YOU !! What kind of man would want a hateful woman like you around his child,he just don't,he buried the good woman, I am so upset,I just think,that you probably gave that poor woman hell and got away with it.Neverless make the lifebook.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:11 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • He isnt asking now because he doesnt know to day he will.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:15 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • 8:11 PM on Jul. 15, 2009 by: Anonymous

    I asked for advise for the court room not, trash talk first of all. Second of all I WILL NOT make him a "life book" because there are no pictures of his BM pregnant with him. He knows he came from "Lori"  that is about as far as it'll go until he starts asking more questions.


    Answer by matthewscandi at 3:45 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • When he is old enough (teens) he'll learn the truth about his "perfect BM" the fact that he is the first child she abandoned, the fact that he death certificate says she died of DRUG OVERDOSE, she has a very thick criminal history. She didn't want him nor did she want his sister before him. You want to talk trash about me. THIS CHILD DOESN'T EVEN BELONG TO MY HUSBAND, WE GOT HIM BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WANTED HIM. HE WAS HEADED TO FOSTER CARE. I didn't give anyone "hell." My husband and I have been married for 5 years and we have 5 children including my SS.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 3:45 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • I have never and would never lie to him about her. And for the record his BF willingly terminated rights because he didn't want him either. So, go ahead call me the bad person. Bitter people like you don't bother me. He is happy here with us and not every person goes digging through their history. Lots of adoptees don't go looking for answers but, if he wants to look I have all the records he needs in a filing cabinet. And one last thing my husband didn't "bury her" they were long divorced when she died last November. You kind of sound like a disgrundled birth mother. Good Luck with your life. :)

    Answer by matthewscandi at 3:46 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

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