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Why is she like this?

First off, my boyfriend of two years left his wife for me. But she didn't love him anyways. They slept in separate rooms for the last 10 years, she never wanted to do anything with him and she always said he should make more money so they could have a nicer house. He finally had enough and left her for me after a 6 month affair. Why now is she making things so difficult for him? She tells him that it is because of the way he left. She did ask for a separation and he told her no because he didn't want his daughter to come from a broken home. I think her ego is just busted because she didn't leave first.

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:09 PM on Jul. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I don't think you can live with someone for that long and not love them... maybe it wasn't like a marriage love, but I'm sure she felt something for him. Anyway, it probably hurts to have that relationship (whatever relationship it was) end.

    Answer by Erica_Smerica at 5:15 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • No offense but you have no idea what she is thinking or feeling. And it sounds like any information you do get you get from him, which means you are getting HIS side of it.

    Come on why would she make this easy?? No matter what her marriage was like I somehow doubt that her husband having an affair was a part of the deal. If his marriage was over and he wanted to see you he should have gotten out of his marriage FIRST. Been honest about it with her instead of lying and cheating on a her after all he must have loved her at one point since he married her.

    Answer by TessLouise at 5:20 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Remember this: If he does it with you, he'll do it to you. Your relationship starting out of an infidelity where there were children in his marriage, can you sleep at night thinking that you broke that home? Can he sleep at night peacefully and look at himself in the mirror the next day? I hope the answer to this question is hell no. Maybe that is why she is giving him and you a hard time. As a wife and a mom, I would have rather prefer and expect him to come clean and say we need a divorce, we are not happy in thi smarriage, then go ahead and find somebody else, having an affair is aggravating and very damaging. Keep that in mind when he has an affair with somebody else, karma is a bitch and you will pay for the suffering you both have cause.

    Answer by bebita at 5:22 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Well said TessLouise- hate to tell you this, but my husband and I haven't 'slept' together for 10 years either. I mean slept literally. It's only because I have sleep disorders and he'd rather sleep in separate rooms then have me have problems due to lack of sleep. Believe me, it has nothing to do with 'body relations'
    You don't know for certain that the wife asked for a separation. If there are children in this situation, then guess what? You are now in a 'stepmom' situation which means you will need to figure out a way to have some kind of relationship with the wife.
    I'm sure you don't want to, but sooner or later you'll probably have to speak to this woman. It may not be a bad idea to get her side of it, because pleasant or not, her side and feelings are going to have a part in all this. If for no other reason you are involved with the father of her children.
    Sincerely, best of luck. I hope it works out for all of you.

    Answer by LadyAronna at 5:53 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • He had an affair, and left her for that person. Of course that's going to hurt and make her angry, regardless of what her feelings were toward him...he was her husband. And how much can be believed of what you know of their relationship, there are always 2 sides. Good luck with keeping him happy and at home.....

    Answer by KennsWifey at 5:58 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Why now is she making things so difficult for him? She tells him that it is because of the way he left

    There is your answer. Even if she didn't really want him anymore maybe it was simply just because of the way he left. He could have been a real man about it and left first THEN got with you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:04 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • How do you know any of that is true? If he was willing to lie to his wife than he most likely is lying to you too. Lots of men use that line "she doesn't love me anymore, it's been over for a long time, etc'". It usually just BS. Maybe she's upset because she thought she was in a good relationship until you came along! Just don't be surprised when he leaves you too!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:18 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • She's a wounded animal. How do you think she should react? Like it or not she had a home with him and it was ripped away from her. I'm sure I'd have been upset too. You might want to tell him the kid is from a broken home...the home was broken long before he left. Kids are damaged by things long before a divorce is finalized.

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:37 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • IMO I think affairs are disgusting. You guys deserve every bit of her getting upset.

    Answer by Lauren24 at 8:06 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Of course she is mad about "how he left"! I don't think there is any mystery about it!

    Answer by BJoan at 9:49 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

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