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My two year old is so bossy!

How do I make him understand that mommy and daddy are the boss? He tells US what to do!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:04 PM on Jul. 14, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (12)
  • is he an only child ?- my dd was like that because she was the only baby in the family. she outgrew it eventually after her baby bro came along 6yrs later - lol.
    scooterpooter

    Answer by scooterpooter at 10:06 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Yes. He is an only child. We also live with my in-laws. And they are constantly telling him the things hes doing are okay when I sit there and tell him no. I think I may just have to tell my in-laws that i'm the boss. Then work on him listening!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:13 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • If its a 'talk back' or telling you 'no' type of thing this is what we do. Our son just started talking back and telling us no in that 'you can't make me' tone so we started rubbing vinegar in his mouth. (dont worry it doesn't hurt them, in fact a little here and there is supposedly good for the body- at least that's what my mom told us while growing up because we used to get teaspoons of it anytime we sass mouthed or used inappropriate language but o goodness does it taste awful! we got the lecture everytime 'See that's what a dirty mouth taste like so I suggest you clean it up' lol my mom always tied a lecture into the punishment) It took about 3 times doing that til he started putting 2 and 2 together. Now he still gets sassy but we say 'ok let's go get the vinegar' and he immediatly starts crying saying 'no I sorry I sorry!' its been affective...
    landensmommy411

    Answer by landensmommy411 at 10:14 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • PP---- Thanks. lol But that seems so mean :(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:13 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • well it depends on how you look at it... I do it because we don't spank him. never have never will. Vinegar is not bad or harmful to them to have a little rubbed in their mouths and yea he cries and doesn't like it but I'm sorry what kid do you know that gets punished in anyway doesn't cry? With the vinegar we don't even have to give it to him anymore for it to be affective just threaten with it and he stops. JMO of course but I think its a lot nicer than spanking a child.
    landensmommy411

    Answer by landensmommy411 at 11:28 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • He can tell you what to do but that does not mean you have to do it. Make him say stuff to you politely before doing it. You are creating a monster by allowing him to do that. When he gets to school that will be a problem. Trust Im a teacher and I run across too many kids that tell their parents waht to do and that doesnt fly in my class.
    lilmsnay83

    Answer by lilmsnay83 at 11:43 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Yuck on the vinegar. Not the taste but just doing that to a friggin toddler. THEY'RE TODDLERS! I could never do that to my child, how mean.

    You teach by showing him CORRECT behavior not just punishing bad behavior.

    Besides, at this age "NO" is simply an experimental thing. Just cuase he SAYS no, doesn't mean you actually allow him to boss you.

    If you tell him it's time to wash his hands for dinner and he says no, then you say "yes, we have to so we can be all clean for dinner" and you take him and wash his hands.

    They're just babies, give them time to learn and grow!
    Arkaidy

    Answer by Arkaidy at 11:52 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • You don't wait til they are older to begin setting boundaries and letting them go without consequences. If its something you start from the very beginning then they will grow up knowing what is expected instead of one day it just being 'ok your old enough to know better' well they won't know better unless they are taught. Honestly you can think it cruel or mean I call it parenting, my son is very well behaved and knows he is very loved too, and he plays and does things all the time, but he obeys and doesn't throw tantrums or act wild. So if your way works fine but I see too many out of control kids around w parents who just say 'o I don't know what to do' bc they waited until they were 'old enough' were as I get complimented all the time on what a well behaved boy I have.
    landensmommy411

    Answer by landensmommy411 at 12:15 AM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • It is developmentally appropriate for a 2 year old to be bossy. Just because he tries to boss you doesn't mean you let him. He is experimenting with asserting his independence and control. The PP, Arkaidy, was right on with her example about the hand washing. He isn't trying to be naughty. He is experimenting with boundaries. As a parent, it's your job to set the boundaries and teach him what is acceptable behavior and what isn't. Consistency is what is key. It isn't always easy, but it will pay off in the long run. I find the vinegar in the mouth appalling.
    JMmama

    Answer by JMmama at 1:52 AM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • I know that when I talked back to my parents, I got spankings, time out, and my mouth washed out with soap, all three of which were extremely effective.

    Use time-outs. Take him to a corner, sit him down against the wall, tell him why he is there and that he is not allowed to leave until you say so. Then ignore him while he has his time out. After his time is up, tell him again why he was there and have him apologize.

    If he orders you around, give him a time out. Be strict about this, or he will get out of control.
    Mousuke

    Answer by Mousuke at 3:41 AM on Jul. 15, 2009

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