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wtf do i do??

i found some incriminating text messages between my husband and another chick and i really dont know how to go about doing this....

he is in the navy and was on an underway of sorts...

last week we were on the outs with each other and he said he didnt know what he wanted (that included me) and during this past week i thought things were better but then i look at his phone and i see these text messages between him and another chick........

i really want to know the extent of their relationship but i dont know if i should wait it out a little more text her secretly and get a response from her?? or hash it all out with the hubster.......BTW she is also in the navy so if this shit gets out it could potentially ruin both their careers.....

please help!!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:37 PM on Jul. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • I"m all for talking to her. You know what he's going to say. See what she says and compare with what he says.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:41 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Well....in your credit I think that it is very considerate of you to think about both of them and their jobs before acting. It's hard to give you any good advice on that subject because it's such an emotional one. Really do what you feel is right. Do you want that kind of drama in your life if he is talking to someone else and she isn't just a friend?
    ajguinn

    Answer by ajguinn at 11:41 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • Ok I would be livid. Go ahead and text her, then hash it out with him. If either of them cared about their career, they wouldn't be going there to begin with. Your husbands an adult and knows the consequenses of his actions. I would make him face up to those consequenses. But that is just me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:43 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • well if he has told you he is not sure what he wants and then you find the texts...well you can then make the choice for him...say ok you can have her and stand your ground. You don't need to let him be a puppeteer to you (you being a toy and never knowing anything type of thing). You deserve better and don't need the stress. If he has not got the brawn to come to you and tell you he has messed up and then just keep lying...you need to leave. Just remember men will lie to you and cheat just about all the time if they get a chance and don't think they will get caught. Of course, this does not apply to every man walking the planet just about 95% of them...lol....I wish you the best. Be firm and don't let him manipulate you. Show him you are smarter than that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • If I were you I would gather some more evidence before confronting him. If you get a chance, send her a text message that is not incriminating, like "what are you doing?" or something generic and see how she answers. If you suspect he is cheating, check his emails and/or voicemail. I would get as much information before bringing it up to him. Then bust his ass and demand answers...not tomorrow...immediately.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • text her an kp us posted gd luck
    momatonly16

    Answer by momatonly16 at 11:47 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • What business does he has texting co-workers in a way that makes his wife jealous or at least uncomfortable? the Navy will never condone infidelity and he knows it. So I would tell him that unless he comes clean right now you are bringing copies of those messages to his chain of command. Going to legal to file for divorce and getting a civilian lawyer to collect alimony and child support. He will most likely get demoted of his current rank and I hope this chick is not under his command or it will be even worst for him. I assure you that will strengthen up his stupidity of "I don't know what I want" You will tell him exactly what to do. Grow the fuck up and stop bullshitting you with those lame excuses either he is your husband and starts acting like one. In my opinion you don't have anything to tell to the chick as it is your husband's job to be faithful to you and to honor his Navy code of conduct.
    bebita

    Answer by bebita at 11:51 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • They aren't on duty together or anything though, are they? Do you know? It would suck if you texted her and she's keeping in contact with him some other way so she knows it's not him.
    ajguinn

    Answer by ajguinn at 11:52 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • What business does he has texting co-workers in a way that makes his wife jealous or at least uncomfortable? the Navy will never condone infidelity and he knows it. So I would tell him that unless he comes clean right now you are bringing copies of those messages to his chain of command. Going to legal to file for divorce and getting a civilian lawyer to collect alimony and child support. He will most likely get demoted of his current rank and I hope this chick is not under his command or it will be even worst for him. I assure you that will strengthen up his stupidity of "I don't know what I want" You will tell him exactly what to do. Grow the fuck up and stop bullshitting you with those lame excuses either he is your husband and starts acting like one. In my opinion you don't have anything to tell to the chick as it is your husband's job to be faithful to you and to honor his Navy code of conduct.
    ---
    i agree 100%
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 PM on Jul. 14, 2009

  • see problem is with emails theyre all going through the boat i cant hack into that

    and these texts were from all last week and i thought thins changed between then and now....i mean it seems better....he did say he was being a jackass which i agreed to...maybe i should have asked him why he thought he was being a jackass about it....

    i think im going to ask him a shit load of questions and see whaat answers i get.....i also want to talk to her and see what her take on all this is......i dont know.....i might pose as him and try to wheedle out info from her.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:02 AM on Jul. 15, 2009

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