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Why did you choose to have children biologically as opposed to adopting?

Nothing accusatory, just curious after a conversation with some friends.

-Why did you choose to have children biologically as opposed to adopting?
-Would you consider adopting your next child instead of giving birth? Why or why not?
-If you had fertility complications, would you adopt a child, or go through fertility treatments/surrogate options? Why/why not?

Discuss.

Answer Question
 
Mousuke

Asked by Mousuke at 3:38 AM on Jul. 15, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 18 (5,472 Credits)
Answers (41)
  • My husband and I chose to have children together because I wanted to experience pregnancy and labor and honestly I love it - I love being pregnant and I love giving birth. We are expecting our 3rd now I would love to adopt someday.
    JAJA_Steele

    Answer by JAJA_Steele at 3:44 AM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • I think people automatically assume that you want a child, you give birth to your own. I honestly haven't considered adoption, not for any reason, just because I have 1 child and I didnt have any problems having her. I think also it has to do with how difficult the adoption process is. And how easy it is to make a child. I would say adopting should definatley be something people keep in mind as they start there family though, there are many children out there that need a loving home.
    OliviasMommy614

    Answer by OliviasMommy614 at 3:46 AM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • We wanted to create our own... with both of our genes. We want to have one more child and then both of us are getting fixed! If there were something wrong where we could not produce we might adopt or decide that we at least had one and are now done!
    07lilmama1108

    Answer by 07lilmama1108 at 3:47 AM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Our love was based more on each other than on our shared social wellbeing values. I would still like to adopt one day. I hope my so would like to too.
    preggoandfat

    Answer by preggoandfat at 4:20 AM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • I had biological children because that is just 'the way its done' -- and WAY easier
    My children's fathers were against adoption for our kids or for us to adopt....... My X chose to abort rather than adopt. Makes me sad.......

    I'd like to adopt a set of older siblings because my brothers are the world to me. I'd like to keep another set of siblings together. I doubt I ever will.

    My aunt adopted 2 kids from Russia -- she chose that cuz -- she was not married and not dating so would have had to go to sperm bank, she's a school teacher and would have to explain to school / students, She has a lot to offer and those kids NEED a family. I SO respect her decision. My cousins are awesome and would be living in slums (they were horribly neglected by Americans standards..........)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:38 AM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Well, generally most people dont even think of that. They get married and when they want kids, they make them the way God intended their bodies to do. I think more people would adopt if they knew more about it and had a special heart for it. Most adoptive moms have a special heart for adoptive children. I knew nothing about adopting until my SIL began her family via adoption. She now has 3 adoptive children and I see how natural it is and how naturally they fit into our family almost as if they were created just for us. I would LOVE to experience this. I have 4 bio kids but if we ever add to our family, it will be via adoption. I am not having anymore kids through my body. The adoption process is very lengthy and tedious. If people who had bio children anytime they wanted had to go through the scrutiny that adoptive parents had to go through, then there would be MANY MANY people not be parents. No PA for sure.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 8:03 AM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • I wanted the natural way. I wanted to be pregnant and deliver my child. There's nothing wrong with adpotion, but if I can have kids, then I'd prefer that. It's a great bond growing a baby in your tummy and much cheaper.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:02 AM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • We had them the natural way because, basically, they just happened. It wasn't a conscious decision on our part (they were all accidents...I'm really bad at taking birth control, lol). Plus we couldn't afford to adopt if we wanted to and even if we could we probably would be disqualified because of my mental health issues (I've been suicidal in the past and have had 2 nervous breakdowns since I've had kids...the first one was bad enough we had to send our older kids away for 3 weeks so I could recover). No sane person would give me kids.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 9:28 AM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Because I got pregnant on birth control and they pregnant on birth control while breast feeding. Neither of my kids were planned. If I ever get married again, I would like to adopt, but at the moment, the country I want to adopt from is not allowing adoptions. I know that sounds kinda picky, but I have visited this country and really have a heart for the kids there.
    peppermintmocha

    Answer by peppermintmocha at 9:31 AM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Actually we did consider adoption, especially when we had fertility issues. There was no way I was going to deal with fertility treatments, we were going to adopt. Then we found out that I had to be at least 25 before we could go through an agency, and we had to have at least $30,000 set aside, a home study, classes, and about 3 miles of red tape. Now if we went through the state, we needed to attend classes, have a home study, foster children until we were deemed fit to adopt. It was a process that could take a while. So, while we were looking into all of this, we decided to go the state route. Then I got pregnant. Didn't even realize it had happened because we had stopped trying.

    Yes, I still think about, when my kids are older, we will probably adopt from the state. But for now, we have enough mouths to feed.
    Petie

    Answer by Petie at 9:37 AM on Jul. 15, 2009

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