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I am so mixed up right now, can anyone help me?

So I have a 18 month old beautiful little girl who I adore with all my heart and I am also a stay at home mom (I nanny for a bit extra) my husband and I are struggling but fine for now financially. I found out that despite religously taking my birth control I am 10 weeks pregnant :( :) I am so mixed up. I am NOT ready for another baby yet. I feel like we wont be able to make it, and that this baby will be so much stress on both of us. I am COMPLETELY against abortions but I really feel like I dont want this baby. I also dont currently have any insurance so that sucks too! What should I do to make this easier!? I am SO unbelievably torn and stressed! PLEASE someone help me.


Asked by Anonymous at 2:01 PM on Jun. 22, 2008 in Pregnancy

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • It will be okay!!! Everything happens for a reason and babies are a blessing no matter what. Sit down with your husband and try and think of a few more ways to cut back. You said you're already a nanny, maybe you can take in one more child just for a few more months to make some more money. Since you already have one baby, you have the maternity clothes and crib and alot of baby clothes already. If you want to PM me, I can teach you how to make your own baby food which will save you alot of money. I'm also a yard sale thrift store junkie which is a huge savings.PLEASE PM me if you want to chat before you do anything drastic!! I promise I'll do what I can to help!!

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 3:14 PM on Jun. 22, 2008

  • If you are pregnant you should be able to get on stateaid for health insurance they will take you because you are pregnant! You need prenatal care. You also can get on WIC to help with the food. Call your local job and family services to get signed up. Things happen for a reason, maybe god thought it was time for you to have another baby. things will work out for the best! Just have faith and keep your head up, you can always make a little extra cash by selling stuff on ebay.

    Answer by MommySteph1011 at 2:31 PM on Jun. 22, 2008

  • I also believe that God has a reason for everything. It may be tough financially but you'll find a way, if you have faith. I have a friend who had an abortion when she was a teen, she told me once that she spends everyday thinking about what the baby would have looked like, act like, wondering, what if she hadn't done it. I'd really do some soul searching before going through something that drastic.

    Answer by Sue41 at 3:02 PM on Jun. 22, 2008

  • Also, most states do have free insurance for children. In addition, I used to volunteer at a crisis pregnancy center and they have many many resources to help women in situations just like yours. Look in your local phone book under "Abortion Alternatives" for your local crisis pregnancy center.

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 3:15 PM on Jun. 22, 2008

  • Your emotions are going to be runnig super high because of all your hormones right now. Give yourself sometime to get used to the idea. Don't be ashamed of the way you feel. Maybe try to find some other mom's on here that have gotten pregnant when their first was about the age of yours and ask them how they managed. Definitly look into the state insurance, my husband and I did not pay a single penny of my pre-natal or delivery costs. Good luck!

    Answer by hannahjoy17 at 4:06 PM on Jun. 22, 2008

  • there is nothing wrong, in my opinion, for deciding to not have a child, especially during the first trimester when it really isn't much more than cells. i realize that not many here may agree with me, but i think you do have the obligation and the responsibility to care for the child you already have. a young baby is extremely enervating to care for. a second young baby is even more so. if a second baby right now is out of the question for you, whether financially or emotionally, there is nothing wrong with putting YOUR needs ahead of a pack of cells.

    Answer by anniekelleher at 4:50 PM on Jun. 22, 2008

  • OK. Take a deep breath! I would be in a bit of a panic myself. You don't have to make any decisions today. First, let your husband know and see what he has to say. Give yourselves time to adjust to the idea. There is plenty of help to get you through financially and even if you are stressed financially, you can thrive emotionally as a family with support. PM me if you need specifics and you can't figure out how to get support. I would give family and friends that will help you a heads up that you need encouragment. Even though it's tough now, you will get through it. Having children so close together is a shook for many people. You and your husband should talk about it and decide how you will handle it together. You never know, maybe he will be thrilled!

    Answer by manna1qd at 5:22 PM on Jun. 22, 2008

  • I know everything looks scary right now, but it will be ok. Look at all of your options - have the baby and keep it, give baby up for adoption, abortion. What is the best answer for you and your family? You can get assistance for medical and other expenses. Look to family, friends, church for support in this difficult time. You will do what is right for your family, and it will all work out. Best of luck to you!

    Answer by elwalters77 at 6:52 PM on Jun. 22, 2008

  • There are some great adoption groups here on cafemom, if that is the option you decide to take, or even if you want to get more information or just talk about it.

    Answer by elwalters77 at 6:53 PM on Jun. 22, 2008