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Am I being selfish?

My husband and I have been struggling with our marriage for a year now. He left when I was 3 mos. preg., went to live with another woman, and was eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He currently lives with his parents 2 states away from our daughter and I. He has been going to counseling and trying to get things figured out/under control, and now says he wants me to move in with him. Lately I have been feeling differently about him and am not sure I want to stay married to him. I know he is trying to do better, but I can't get over how things used to be and am afraid they will end up the same eventually. He is quite immature. I also do not want to move away from my family. (he has been advised not to move back to where I am). I still want him to be involved in our daughters life and do not want her to struggle because of my decision, on the other hand living with him would be hard.
any advice would be great, I am lost!

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:00 PM on Jul. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Do you think there's a middle place between where he is and you are? I realize that's a ways away from both of your families but maybe it would be good? Or maybe y'all move in together an hour away from your family so you're still close enough to see them but far enough away from that place. OR... (sorry, lots of things running through my mind lol) you move there for a few months and just see how things are going and if you feel comfortable, you all move somewhere together. Good luck on everything! Hope it gets better!

    Answer by TheJBug at 12:05 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • It will take time for him to work things out and he'll not get over being bi polar. Figure out what makes you happy in life. You don't have to remain married to a man who left you when you needed him the most and moved in with another woman. That shows what kind of man he is basically, bi polar or not.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:11 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Go with your heart!

    I personally don't think you are being selfish. I would hesitate moving away from my family to a man that has a mental health problem and who left me for another women at one point. Bi-polar is something he is going to have to deal with for his entire life and it is going to take a lot of work for him to get it under control.

    Again, listen to your heart.

    Answer by TessLouise at 12:15 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Stay where you are, things could get alot worse if you move...You need to be close to YOUR family...

    Answer by JazzyJes at 5:04 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

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