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2yr and still not engaged!!

He promised me that we would be engaged by our 2yr anniversary. That was June 30th, and we are still NOT engaged!! I am so mad and hurt that he didnt ask me!! He says he still wants to marry me and that he's waiting till we are financially a little better off. It makes me kind of resent him for breaking his promise and we seem to be fighting and irritable with each other. I guess I am more venting than anything.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:17 PM on Jul. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (22)
  • If I were you (espesially if you guys have kids) I would give him an altimatum. You either marry me by ____, or Im outta here!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Decide how much of your time do you want to spend investing in this relationship? Make your own deadline. You are not getting younger. Each year you spend on him is one year less you are spending finding a man who does want to marry you. Give him a deadline then leave. He'll either change his mind and ask or it wasn't meant to be.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:21 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • I would not push the issue,i did because of ny family pushing me. and i regret it I can't say it is true for all but my husband changed after we got married( He will amit this and knows why he has changed,that piece of paper made him(in his mind) that he has more resonsiblllity now)we were together 5 years when we got married have been married 4. but I wish we could go back to the way things were before. Make sure it is what you really want.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Would you mind if I asked how old you are?

    Who in their right mind would DEMAND a man marry her? Look, if you want to be married and he doesn't, leave. I have no idea how women who scream and yell and stomp their feet demanding a ring live with themselves. Don't you want this man to WANT you all by himself?

    DO NOT give an ultimatum. That is a sure fire way to push him away. Do what admckenzie said, but DO NOT TELL your BF any of it. Just shut up about the engagement and if you have your own internal date, let's say if he doesn't propose by the end of the summer it will be time for you to move on. Again, do not threaten him with this. Who wants a ring given in an effort to shut you up?? You deserve better.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Why do you want to get engaged? Give the guy a break. The timeline thing probably freaks him out. You should get engaged because you are BOTH ready to be engaged, not because of a timeline.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:27 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • If he wanted to leave, he would have. You have a child together. Get over it. Rings are expensive, and that could be an investment he is waiting to pay cash for. Plus weddings are expensive. Do you both work? Are you willing to pitch in and help pay for the wedding?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:32 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Honey, we are on our 3rd year with a 14 months old, and no ring in sight.

    I gave up on that part of our relationship, and we just go on about our business. I figure we are living the life anyways, right? I don't need a piece of paper telling me that he loves me. A ring would be nice, I won't lie, lol, but its not necessary.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 1:33 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • I am 25yrs old and I have a child (from previous marriage). He was talking about marrying me after 3 weeks of dating. 2yrs later and nothing. He says he wants to marry me but if he did then why 2yrs later are we NOT engaged! I don't get it. I told him that I don't want to nag him, that I am hurt that he broke his promise, that I don't want to waste years on a relationship that's not going to go anywhere. We both want to get married. I just don't know why we arent already at the next step
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:33 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • OP here (I am also anon :33). We both work and we don't have children together
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:34 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Do not give him and ultimatum. That's insane. And no offense 2 years isn't much. I'm sure some people have gotten engaged and happily married after that (i'm not judging) but some people need more time. My DF and I waited 5 years. Maybe your bf needs more time which is understandable. Everyone is different, and I would not push the issue either if I were you.
    Lauren24

    Answer by Lauren24 at 1:35 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

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