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Which is harder...spouse deployment or single parenthood?

These situations seem similar to me (of course, circumstances always vary) but one seems to get more sympathy than the other. In what ways are they the same or different? Which do you think is more difficult?

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:59 PM on Jul. 15, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (13)
  • its really hard to say which one is more difficult. each is very difficult. so....i cant choose between the two

    Answer by SThompson21 at 3:03 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • I haven't been in either situation, but I would think spouse deployment.

    When you are a single mother, you KNOW you are a single mother, you don't have a man in and out of the house, you don't have to deal with the hurt all over again when he has to leave, you don't have to explain it to your kids each time either why daddy is leaving, etc.

    But, then again, even with the spouse deployment you have some extra money coming in that a single mother doesn't get....I dunno, its a toss up.

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 3:06 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • I can't choose. I know people that can make a marriage work not seeing their spouse for months and months. And then on the other hand, I have friends that husbands work so much that the only time he sees his kids is on the weekend which is Sunday. So, does this make his wife a single mother? Hard question. I think it's the situation. Only the person that lives it knows the answer.

    Answer by Safirejewl at 3:11 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Our daughter was born while he was on R&R midway through his second deployment. Thankfully, my mother was around to help, but it was still difficult. I FELT like a single parent. I may be biased, but I would say that the deployment situation is harder, because there is the added stress of wondering if your child's father is coming home.

    Answer by EternalChild86 at 3:13 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • i would say spouse deployed just because when ur a single parent you know your gonna be doiing it urslef no matter what. when you have ahubby going back and forth you get the help and then its gone and you have to readjust everytime they leave and come back

    Answer by Dom123123 at 3:15 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • I have been thru both and sorry they are not the same in anyway

    Answer by Mrs.Owen86 at 3:17 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Having been on both ends, they both suck. I guess the deployment was harder for me because I was alone with 3 kids, no support network, and had to worry about something happening to my husband on a nearly constant basis. When I was a single parent, it seemed easier. I don't know. It depends on how people adapt to the situations.

    Answer by Izsarejman at 3:19 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • I don't think you can really compare them. Single parent is on their own, always, unless they remarry. You never get a break. But a spouse being deployed can be just as hard, b/c you are used to having them there to help you and now they aren't. You can look forward to them coming home, but that doesn't make it any easier. They are both hard, but in different ways, and to try to say that one is harder than the other, to me, minimalizes whichever one you say is easier.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 3:41 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Deployment. Because right when you get into a routine of handling things on your own they come back.
    Single parenting you are stuck on your own and you know it and adjust.

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 3:49 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • I think they both are Very hard! Both seem unbearable at times! But Even having A spouse doesn't guarantee they care or really help! Much less participate. Help out! Do things at home. Do things alone with the child or go to school or functions without being Dragged. Some may have one at home but if they're not helping or being A good parent its almost as Bad! If you didn't know they wouldn't help. People see it from the outside.. Oh that may look good! You have your spouse home with you! But not that Great if not Helping! Can't even be current on Friends, dates or even how old is my kid!! There's that Family too!! So I hand it to the parent that does most or does it all.. Keeps it altogether for the Best of the Child!! There's some Exceptional do it All.. . Great parents! I applaud You All!! There's many differnt family's out there.. I wish you all the Best! And that Special Help when you truly need it! The unspoken Help!

    Answer by Angellinda at 3:51 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

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