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I feel like a fool, has anyone had this happen to them ?

Well I meet what I thought was a great guy in Oct 2008. We hit it off great and I totally fell for this guy we even got engaged on Vanentines Day this year. Anyway all was going great until I got board at work and found a web site that allows you to see the criminal histroy of a person if they are or have been in the system. Well anyway when we started seeing each other I had asked a few different times about his past and got the same answer " I have never been arrested for anything, Well to find out from the web site he has 14 arrests for sales of controlled substances and nemerouse other things going back 30 years, he is a registered drug offender here in California and now I feel as if I have been played like a fiddle I have to get this guy out of mine and my daughters life ASAP, I am stressed out about breaking it off and I just have to find the right time to present this info to him and kick him to the curb. Any advice ?

Answer Question

Asked by kaileysmum at 3:14 PM on Jul. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • Before you write him off, when was his last arrest?


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:15 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • no but this is why I tell women who meet guys to check them out first. There are predators out there who stalk women every day. They use them and take their money and break their heart. Not only can folks get free criminal history on a court house web page but check out and PLEASE LADIES be careful and know who you are with.

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:18 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • it doesn't matter when the last arrest was....HE LIED TO HER

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:18 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • How old is this guy? Are you 100% positive it's him? If so, leave now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:21 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Yes it does matter and yes it does matter that he lied. He may have been embarrassed to let hre know about his past. Maybe he has changed and that is why I asked, thank you.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:21 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Be up front with him.. NOW! Show him what you found on the internet.

    Answer by louise2 at 3:22 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Maybe he has changed or not.....BS

    The last time he got arrested.....BS

    The man is a LIAR!!!!!!

    I would tell him the truth.......he needs to know that he can not play you anymore!!


    Answer by Dannee at 3:24 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • One arrest could be considered an aberration. 14 arrests as a pusher! Not a good person.

    Time to back slowly away from the relationship and run like the wind. If you don't want to go into reasons, tell him that your feelings have changed and are not going to change back. I think that what I'd do is to hire a private investigator just to make absolutely sure that you have the right person. but it really sounds as though you are being preyed upon. Thank goodness you found out before having children with him.

    Answer by Bmat at 3:24 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • I agree that it mattered that he lied, but I also agree that it is important to take into consideration when his last arrest was. Perhaps he is clean and has been for a long time, and didn't want his past mistakes to put a damper on good thing.

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 3:25 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • I would not even tell him that you know about it. I would tell him things aren't going to work out between us and it is over. Please move on and don't call me any more or you will receive a restrained order. Cease all contact and be thankful you found out now and your child was not exposed to this kind of guy. He is smart enough to know that you mean business so he'll back up. Don't be afraid you don't need to be with a guy for fear of his treaction.

    You just be smart enough to be firm no wishy washy about it, end it now, today no buts or ifs. Think about your child's best interest and you'll know that it is the best thing to do. THink business transaction and he'll know he ha lost his power over you and he'll know he has being expose so he'll move on to con somebody else.

    Answer by bebita at 3:25 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

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