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My sister is "getting" another kid..... who isn't even 10 years younger than her.

My sister's, kid's dad has 2 other kids who are 15 and 16. Well his 16 yr old got in trouble and is being sent to live with him, and my sister. I don't know how she is going to do it, she is 25 and has a 3 yr old and 4 month old baby. So now she has to go hurry up and buy a house so she has enough room. Has anyone ever had a problem like this? I kind of feel bad for her, what can I do to help. By the way, I'm only 2 years older than this kid, if it matters.

UGGGHH a troubled 16 yr old boy from california, coming to live with my sister who doesn't take people's crap. Good thing she "graduated" anger managment.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:50 PM on Jul. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I'm sure if her heart wasn't into it she wouldn't be doing it.Someone closer to this teenagers age may be able to better understand him and help him.It sounds like youre really concerned for your sister,and thats good that you care.Maybe you can make yourself feel better about the situation by helping her to get ready for his arrival.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 4:53 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • It's really not your concern. She agreed to it and she will be fine. She is doing it b/c she loves her boyfriend and accepts his children.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:54 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • omg, I feel for her. He's gonna walk all over her big time!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:56 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • She got into the relationship knowing he had kids. People can't get in a relationship and think they have no part to play in their spouse's previous kids. Support her- but she got herself in this situation.

    Answer by ranedare at 8:02 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Your sister is the adult. Age does matter in that as a teenager he does not opperate in an adult world or have adult responsibilities. Your sister does operate in an adult world and she has very real responsibilities. There is not a question about her role: she is the adult in the home and an equal to her husband. She also has the responsibility to her two young children to keep them safe. That is her first priority. The second thing she can do is take a step back. She's the "step" mom. Which means no matter how hard she tries those kids will never see her has their parent. So she shouldn't try. But dad needs to make it clear that this is her home and that she needs respect and curtesy. Any discipline issue needs to be addressed by dad when it comes to his older two children. She and her husband can work out ground rules ahead of time about what they both agree to on certain topics. When something comes up

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:17 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • they can discuss it. Most situations you do not have to resolve then and there. You can have dad say that he needs time to think about it and he will get back with them. He doesn't need to tell them he wants his wife's counsel and input. He shouldn't put her in the middle making her the bad guy. At least that is my perspective on step parenting. If it is a situation where safety is an issue and it must be addressed at that exact moment then of course she needs to handle it right there and then - only taking measures to make the situation safe. Again, dad should do the rest. It is the only way to maintain peace. She can treat them with respect, be nice, can be a friend, and can set boundaries. That is it. You can listen and be a sister. This is her mariage and her situation. Hard, yes. But it is your sister who owns this situation.

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:21 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

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