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my 5 yearl old isn't potty trained. How can I get him in school? (please see detailed below)

(i should've been more clear.... his pediatrician says he has developmental delays but i haven't had him evaluated yet. still waiting for the referals. and i just wanted to know if there are programs in public schools that aren't special ed. which would be fine if thats what he needed, but if it's just a delay and not a disability, where would my son fit in?) p.s. - i have been attempting the training for 3 years now... some of your responses seemed a little judgemental and not helpful. i used to teach preschool, so i know the daycare rules. im just interested in public schools. thanks to those who have helpful info!!

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sahmof3.5yrold

Asked by sahmof3.5yrold at 5:44 PM on Jul. 15, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (12)
  • Awwww, mom, I know you've had a hard time. I have a dd with delays....thankfully though she was easy to potty train....but other issues often rear their ugly head ;)

    I am a teacher as well, my first suggestion would be to find a local preschool to place him in for the upcoming year and hold off on Kindergarten until the evaluations can be completed.

    Having accidents in his pants in front of the other kids could seriously damage his self esteem and take away from his learning.

    If he qualified he would receive an aide who would help him with his potty training in school, but he would need his evaluations done first.
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 5:48 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Maybe ask your doctor if there is a specialist you can call
    firethearson

    Answer by firethearson at 5:48 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • I don't think ANY public school that isn't a special education program will take a five year old that is not potty trained . . . I could be wrong. But it would seem as if they wouldn't have the resources to handle the situation. For instance, a kinder teacher usually has 18 kids on her own and she will be unable to leave the classroom to help 1 child with potty needs.

    If I were you I would be SCREAMING to have him evaluated now. Because with evaluation you can get services for him. Some schools will put children into a regular classroom and provide an aid to be with them for the day. That way that aid can deal with some of those special needs . . . in your case potty issues.

    Have you also considered the potential embarrassment he may endure in a main stream classroom?? To me that could do a bit of damage to his potty training if the other students start to make fun of it.
    TessLouise

    Answer by TessLouise at 5:56 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • are you against special ed? my son had delays and was in resource classes for 20 min per day while in kindergarten and this year in first grade he has the option of gettin extra attention from resource teacher... kids with delays can benefit from one on one teaching. as far as potty training is there a medical reason as to why he not trained yet? my middle child was completely potty trained till he was 4 and we ended up having to take him in every 2 hrs and make him sit for 15 min at a time. its one of those things where you got to be a parent first and put your foot down. we took toys away for when he pottied his pants, but rewarded him when he went . and DONOT use pull up as it hinders training at this age. if he has an accident make him clean his soiled underwear and clean him self up of course with you over seeing this task.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:57 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • ** i meant wasnt completely potty train till 4
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:59 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Delays would put him in a special ed class. But that doesn't mean he would be isolated from his peers. Depending on the extent of the delays, he may be able to go to specials: gym, music, art, with his peers.
    motherofhope98

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 6:02 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • what kind of delay does he have? have you tried potty trainin him? i dont know of any schools that will accept a child who is not potty trained unless the child has severe disability. potty doesnt happen over night and requires a lot of work on your part too not just his....keep at it
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:04 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • The schools are not going to take him if he is not potty trained. Even if he had no delays and was not simply trained they would not take him. They might in the special ed program since he would have someone working one on one with him. Teachers have 18-25 students with little help and cannot spend time changing pullups. I would get him evaluated and maybe wait another year. He clearly is not ready for school yet and in many areas kids are not required to attend school until 6 or 7 years old.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:08 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • OK, with developmental delays, you could hold him back a year. Perhaps the headstart program? I know they will take children if they have spec. needs (dev. delays is considered a spec. need), that aren't fully trained, at least here they will. But as the previous posters have said, you need to be pushing for the eval. The sooner you get an official dx, the better for your child.

    P.S. if my post sounded cold in the other thread, I do apologize, I didn't mean it as such.
    Petie

    Answer by Petie at 7:44 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Developmental delay -- is a type of disability generally. You do NOT have to wait until school age to have him evaluated or even get services. FEDERAL LAW provides for evaluation's and services from 0-3 yrs., 3-5 yrs (pre-K), then the 5-22(Kinde-12 grd).

    It depends on much more than his toileting issues alone as to the best placement for him. There are so many factors involved that without a full picture it is very difficult to say.
    I would contact the schools NOW and ask for an immediate evaluation. I wish your ped. had told you that you could have had covered schooling and therapies etc. already.
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 9:07 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

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