Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)


Please tell me Im not the only one thinking this. My husband has been feeling a bit down since we moved so far away from his bio daughter. Which I completly understand. BUT I have a daughter whom he is in the prosess of adopting. I know he still misses his own (I do too) but we have mine. Now hes trying to tell me that he wants to have another because it will make him feel better. I think hes lost his mind! I mean I know having your own child is diffrent then adopting someone elses but having one just so you can feel better? Really? Am I the only one who thinks hes lost his marbles?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:16 PM on Jul. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • doesnt' sound unreasonable. My sister died when she was 2 months old and had me in the same year that my sister passed away to help her cope.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:20 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • But is it fair for the child to do it just to make you feel better? I mean he sill is in contact with his Bio Daughter but dosnt see her more then ones a month. But she is still around.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:23 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • I think it is natural...He wants his own daughter, even though he probably loves your daughter whole heartedly theres nothing like looking into your babies eyes and seeing you. y'know?

    Answer by Dom123123 at 6:23 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Oh I know. And Im not saying Im not going to just because I think hes insaine lol. I want one so bad also but I just dont think thats a good reason. I mean I would put that right with all the 15 yo girls getting preg just "because they want to". But thats me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:26 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • You can't expect your husband to feel the same way towards your child as he would a biological child. Give him and your daughter a chance for their relationship to grow.

    Why did you move far away from his child. If he is feeling so bad could you move back? Could his child and mother move where you live?

    There are a lot more stupid of ideas for wanting to have a child than the longing for another child. What's wrong with that? Do you not want any more children? This is something that may cause problems with your marriage. You might want to think about this before you allow him to adopt your child and have legal rights. If your marriage ends up in divorce it could be a big mess.

    Answer by Gailll at 6:27 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • he's not a 15 year old girl he is a grown man and maybe he felt like he made a mistake with his first daughter, you can only really know the deep reason by talking to HIM but He's a grown man at least give him that. I think its a legit reason, and why do most people who plan on having a baby have one, because they want one. I personally didnt plan mine but im planning for the next ones and no other than I want more to grow and mold into good people.

    Answer by Dom123123 at 6:31 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • yours will not replace his. He wants one of his. You would too if someone made you leave your child behind. It sounds like you just want him thinking of your child as his. Can we say Cinderella's evil stepmother?

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:41 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • No one can replace a biological child.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:04 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • #1 How coululd you love a man that would move AWAY from his bio kid?? If he can do it to his bio kid, he can do it to yours...
    #2 I agree with anon want him to forget the bio kid and love only yours?
    Why do parents do this to kids? Rip up the bonds, get involved with step, half siblings. Move back so he can see his kid!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:07 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Sometimes, the only option is to move! Give them a break, with the economy being what it is, did you ever think that they moved away for WORK? So they had money to pay for the child support, and to take care of her,etc.? 


    Answer by Anonymous at 7:35 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.