Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Baby daddy wants to be in my daughters life after a year...

I need some serious legal advice. My daughter is 13 months old. Her dad was around the first month but just barely and then he dissapeared with his new lady friend. I did not attempt to get any child support, at the time I just could not handle anymore stress that he was causing. Well now, a year later ,I get a phone call from him that he is going to do a paternity test so he can start to take my daughter on the weekends. He was not at the hospital when I was discharged so he did not sign any papers. A mutual friend we used to have recently told me that his g/f was pushing for him to do this.. Since he refuses to come and see our daughter right now ( I offered even after his nasty call) I find that shady and strange. I am scared what the courts will do. Also I have been struggling with bills ....and he now has a great job, will they make him pay some back pay support???

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:03 PM on Jul. 15, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (20)
  • They might, but I don't know if you didn't file if they will make him pay.

    Answer by StifflersMom82 at 7:05 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • I would go file for full legal custody before he gets a chance...if u dont have full legal and physical custody ur gonna be in some deep poo..

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:06 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • You definitely need to file for child support, and then if he doesn't pay, I believe he doesn't get visitation. This is something that YOU have to do though, the courts won't make him pay if you don't file for it.

    Answer by motherofanaries at 7:07 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • How do I file for full legal custody if he is not even on the birth certificate??? Right now I would imagine I do have full legal and physical custody bc hes not in existance as far as legal papers go. If he files to take a paternity test and it comes back positive (which it will) does that get me into trouble? Or give him more rights? Or after that can I then file for child support? I am confused. I always hoped he would come back around for daughters sake I just didnt think he would be such a jerk about it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:12 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Lol motherof an aries it doesnt work that way. They wont hold someones child from them because they are not paying child support its punishment to the child. it is 2 completly diff issues. First file for full legal an physical youll prolly go to court an get full physical an legal will pend they will let him see her probably 3 hours supervised for 6 weeks than 3 hours unsupervised for 6 weeks than a full day than eventually over nights. As long as he is doing as he should. They wont make him pay a dime back pay until the day you file so file now. if you file tommorrow child support back pay starts tommorrow. if the child support case gets settled in 6 mnths hell start paying you mnthly plus like 50.00 or if he wants to pay more over to catch up on the backpay

    Answer by NIKKIANDYBABY at 7:13 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • you do have legal an physical custody but the minute hes name in a paternity as a father hell be equal to you. No it wont get you in trouble if he wanted to be there he could of petitioned it at birth. you can file for child support now an they will automatically give him a paternity test since you cant just say nayone is the father pay than once its settled than you start getting money it often takes mnths. Than he has to go fill out all the stuff for visitation an partial custody. We have been doing it for almost 2 years now its really hard an financially hard so if hes dedicated hell be able to see her eventually alone but he has to continue a long process. But they wont for a fact start him off with unsupervised weekends trust me on this. I know the system way to well. They make it a slow process to build the relationship and if hes willing to do that than good for your daughters sake

    Answer by NIKKIANDYBABY at 7:17 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • I would hire a lawyer, and I would hit the internet highway to find out my rights in my state about this. Plus, I also would keep a journal or a notebook written down all that he has paid or not paid, what he was said to me on the phone, what was said when he came over, and if he picks his chlld up when, what, time, and how long he had the child. All with time and date on it...this notebook can be used if you need to go to court. Plus, also in the notebook any gifts that was given or not given... also any birthday cards or holiday cards or gifts that was or was not given..keep track of it. I would also keep track of all your spending that you do for your can be use in court, too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:20 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Do it if it's the right thing to do, not for the money. If he didn't have a job, would you still let him visit with the child?

    Answer by EireLass at 7:21 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • The last anon all of that is he said she said courts dont care about that nor do they care if the guy has paid when it comes to visitation. Anyone can say anything or write anything but they wont take into account anything that is not prooven.
    OP email me privatly I can give you tons of advice.

    Answer by NIKKIANDYBABY at 7:27 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • yes he has to pay back child support. I would NOT allow over night visits. Tell the court that he can come visit her at your house or have supervised visits in the system until she gets used to him then after a year or so he can take her for longer. I'd do a background check on the gf too. If she has any record of child abuse or her kids taken away then get a Protective Order against her so she can't hurt your child

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:47 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.