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help she is running over me and 3 years old!!!!!

my daughter is 3 years old. she is starting to back talk me, she bit me twice, she is defyant. i don't know what to do. my husband works nights and is only awake for a few hours during the day then it is back to work. she listens to him so well and i just don't understand. i have tryed time outs, spanking, even taking her fav.toy away and that seems to only make things worse. i feel like i am failing as a mother. please give any helpful hints that you can but please leave the bashing out i hear enough of that mess as it is at home.

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:11 PM on Jul. 15, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (4)
  • Sounds like you've tried a lot, but how long have you tried each? You need to be consistent, that is the key. And make sure she knows there is ABSOLUTELY no biting! Time outs work for me most of the time, and on the few days they don't work, it's usually because DS is so tired and he needs a nap.

    Answer by motherofanaries at 7:15 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Well lets see, I am a preschool teacher and know what its like to have those things done to you. Even though I am not the mother of those children I was never raised like that to do those things and I dont tolerate it at all. I am very firm with the kids and I stick to what I say, cause if I dont they know they can just do whatever they just did again. Being consistent is the main key and eventually she will learn to respect you and listen.

    Answer by Deanna84 at 8:05 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • I am with you soooooooooo much! My hubby just got off 3rd shift after 5 years and now he's finally seeing it (she use to only listen to him). We actually are having her see a counselor and working with our 4 yr. old she seems to have defiance issues (it runs in my family but it is usually the boys). So far it doesn't seem to help either. So idk but just so you know you are not a bad mother and I am right there with you. I have tried all you have and more- grounding, spanking, loosing toys (she actually was happier throwing all her toys away herself!)-she really could care less.

    Answer by hotrodmomma at 8:08 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • My kids are sort of the same way. They used to only listen to daddy, but now they are sort of defyant to both of us.
    Do you let her play outside much? Does he let her watch tv a lot? I found that not having a schedule, keeping them inside and him letting them watch tv were terrible... Now they all listen to me, but have started becoming defyant to him because he still trys to stick them in front of the tv. The only one that I have problems with is my 3 y/o who is just at that stage where he tests my patience. He only back talks me, and I just send him to his room for a little while so that I don't have to listen to it..? Seems to work for me. Good luck

    Answer by mammacjjc85 at 10:01 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

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