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how do i stop my 9 year old from whining?

everything causes her to whine, I try to ignore it (and am usually successful) but my husband cant stand it and so gives in (which i think is most of the problem) and now her brother is starting to do it too. Also any suggestions on how to make her stop screaming "i hate you" or "you hate me" at us when she gets mad that she doesnt get what she wants.
She whines over everything, i tell her clean her room she whines, no you cant have a popsicle till after lunch she whines, no i dont have the money for new toy this week she whines, no you cant wear those clothes to the store she whines over everything. I am at wits end with her and really dont know what to do with her
Please help!

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Asked by elananme at 7:23 PM on Jul. 15, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 12 (881 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • tell her your going to take away sioimething and say that shes hurting your ears.... cry with her lol serious..

    Answer by BriannaBopp at 7:39 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • ignoring it is WHY she does it. LISTEN TO HER and the whining will stop. Signed: a former whiner

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:01 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Whine back, like this:

    Your daughter: Can I have a popsicle?
    You: Not until after lunch.
    Your daughter: But moooooooom. I wannnnntt it nowwwwww!
    You: Wellllllll, you can't have it until after lu-uuuunnncchhhhh!
    Your daughter: Aghhh! Moooooooooooooooom
    You: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees?
    Your daughter: You hate me!
    You: Say that one more time and you have TV taken away until Friday.
    Your daughter: You. Hate. Me.
    You: Okay, no TV.
    Your daughter: Mooooooooooooooom
    You: No TV until Monday.

    So first you play long, but then you get serious. Stick to your word, don't give in to the punishement.

    Answer by A.W.96 at 8:02 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Whine back. We did that with our whiner for a while. It worked.
    We also don't respond to any whining.
    When it gets too bad we send her to her room and tell her she can come back when she's done whining.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:26 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • Look her in the eyes (giving her your full attention), tell her to ask you for what she wants  without whining.  If she continues... tell her that whining is a sign that she is tired and she needs to go to her room to rest.  She can only come back out after she has taken a nap.  If she comes out and continues, tell her she must not have gotten long enough nap and she needs to go back in.  Books on whining (maybe it will help her see herself)


    Answer by momjs at 10:01 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • IGNORE it. She is way to old to be whining. Tell her that when she uses her words properly, you will talk to her. It doesn't matter the reason for the whining, she is to old to be doing it. I do NOT tolerate any whining from any child, for any reason. I taught toddlers and I didn't tolerate it from them. They may not have been able to talk, but they didn't need to whine.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:43 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • wow i went through the same thing recently and thought i was the only one. my husband was the one that just let our son whine and i was the one who always gave in. it is still in the works of being fixed but it did not even begin until i was on the same page as my husband. i had to just let my son whine and if it started to annoy me i would send him to his room for a time out until he was done whinning. and i mean he would cry loudly too. and when he'd whine about toys i finally made him get rid of his toys since he wasn't happy with what he had now he appreciates every toy he has and he can only get new ones with his allowance not by asking me. good luck

    Answer by cleo2582 at 1:13 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • My oldest had this issue when he was younger. I flat out told him if he whines I CAN'T HEAR HIM! So, you whinning = you don't get or can't have what ever it is your wanting!

    Answer by luvbnmomnwife at 1:07 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

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