If, you adopted a child at 3 years old, the child is now 20,going to college,working,and yes,here comes Bio-mom,not just her,but all her family. I am hurt,and I keep trying to figure out,how she got my information.My sweet DD told me,she has spoken with them, and her Bio-mom,now has 8 more kids,the 3 oldest ones dropped out of school.What am I to do,am I supposed to push this relationship,my DD is very worry about me and my feelings,I want her to be happy.
Asked by Anonymous at 8:21 PM on Jul. 15, 2009 in Adoption
Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 1:22 PM on Jul. 16, 2009
Answer by scooterpooter at 8:25 PM on Jul. 15, 2009
Answer by raemommy at 8:29 PM on Jul. 15, 2009
I'm not going to lie. It would be hard, but you need to support her in it and try not to let her see that it hurts you. YOU are her MOM. You were there for every tear, fear or boo boo. You poured your life into hers. You didn't give her life, but you made her your world and gave of yourself in a way that only MOM could. Try to stand back and let her explore this relationship and see if it buds into a friendship. However, be at rest in knowing that NO ONE can replace YOU.
Answer by Anonymous at 9:00 PM on Jul. 15, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 9:06 PM on Jul. 15, 2009
Firstly you should know that your feelings are common and highly understandable. I can recommend the most wonderful book on reunion: "Birthright: A guide to Search and Reunion for Adoptees, Birth Parents and Adoptive Parents." by Jean A Strauss. Also I run a group called Adoption Reunion. It's an open group so you can just read some of the posts if you like, but I'd love to see more Adoptive moms there. http://www.cafemom.com/group/14715
Answer by onethentwins at 9:14 PM on Jul. 15, 2009
For more immediate help, here is a link to an Adoptee Support group called "Chosen Babies" run by Adult Adoptees. This is a link to an article there called "Recommendations for Adoptive Parents" I hope you find it usefull. http://www.chosen-babies.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=44&Itemid=54
Answer by onethentwins at 9:15 PM on Jul. 15, 2009
Answer by robinann5 at 9:28 PM on Jul. 15, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 9:56 PM on Jul. 15, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 PM on Jul. 15, 2009