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Has anyone ever been seperated from thier husbands and got back together? Do you think it works?

My husband and I are going through a really hard time right now, and we agreed that we should seperate for awhile so we can work on ourselves, I'm just afraid that we will never get back together now. And it doesn't make the situation any better that I am 10 weeks pregnant? Any advice would be well appreciated.

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zimmtobe

Asked by zimmtobe at 11:51 PM on Jul. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Level 4 (35 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I was actually going to ask the same thing. I am worried about if he goes out and hooks up with another women how I will feel about that if we ever decide to get back together. Best of luck to you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:55 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • I'm just speaking from my experience, take it how you want.

    My husband and I had one child at the time, who was 5 years old and we seperated for a year. We got together when we were 19 and had a child by 21 so we both felt that things went really fast and I suppose we felt like we were missing out on something as none of our friends had children. We hit a rough patch, sold our house and went our seperate ways at the time we both thought we were going to divorce...Anyway, we both dated another person and then decided that we should be together. Marriage is hard and relationships are hard and we wanted to try it again. We decided to rent and take it slow and now after 3 years we are going to buy another house. It's actually being built right now. Seperating worked for us, because we realized we weren't missing out on anything and we truly wanted to be with eachother.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 PM on Jul. 15, 2009

  • And to the first anon. My husband and I both were with another person. It does hurt, but I think it was necessary for US. I would also like to add that this was a financial disaster for us. We went into debt really bad and just paid off all of our "seperation bills" last year. Just REALLY make sure this is what you want/need before you do it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:00 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • Thank you I am so afraid that we wont get back together. But I know this is what we need. We have become so dependant on each other that we don't know who we are anymore. I am just so scared. I love hime so much and I don't want to lose him
    zimmtobe

    Answer by zimmtobe at 12:03 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • If you don't get back together than it wasn't meant to be. I know thats a cliche, but true. I wish you the best of luck, I really do. This decision is one of the hardest decisions I ever made, but on the birght side we do appreciate eachother a lot more and neither of us has forgotten how we felt when we were split up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • We split after we'd only been married for 7 months (even though we had dated almost 4 years first). We just weren't ready. Went to counseling and got back together after about 6 months but I moved out again after just 4 months. Then we were separated for close to 2 years but we talked daily and maintained a good relationship. I just needed to "grow up" some. We got married when I was only 20 and he'd been my only serious boyfriend. I moved straight from my parents house to living with him, so I didn't really have any experience at being a grown up and really needed it! We got back together May 2005, had our first child August 2007, and are expecting our second in Feb. So yes, it worked for us!
    mnt_2_b_mommy

    Answer by mnt_2_b_mommy at 12:12 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • during my first marriage my husband an I had split ans I was pregnant and while we were seperated we talked nightly on the phone about what went wrong and what we would both like to see change in the future...we got back together when the baby i was carrying, was 2 months old.
    I wish I could say it was happily ever after....However it was a good 2 years we stayed together.
    What nwent wrong was he began a thrid shift job and didn't cope very well with it and became abusive....If I would have known then what I know know the marriage would still be intact.
    A company will always change the shift of the worker when they know family is being harmed, So if I had just talked to HR then things could have changed
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 1:29 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • my parents divorced after being married for 6-7 yrs. they was apart for probly no longer then a yr, and has remarried and they are still married to this day so since there last marraige they have been married for 27 yrs now. sometimes people need time to figure out what they really want. GOOD LUCK!!!
    okc-mom-2

    Answer by okc-mom-2 at 1:30 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • We separated for two years we did not speak to one another for most of that time. We ran into each other about 2 months before our divorce was finally going to be final and I don't know we both realized how stupid we both were being. We took it very slow started dating again and now 16 years later are still happily married. We were stupid and got married at 17 and 18 years old. We did not have any kids but it was still hard on us. We had no clue who we were as people and what we wanted in life. I think the break helped us both get some perspective. We both did date during that time I am sure he slept with other women I had been with two men. We don't talk about it and it is irrelevant to our marriage now. We needed that time to grow up and be in the right spot to be married. I always tell people I know who are young to wait if it is right to marry them now at 20 it will still be right in 2-3 years.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:42 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • Dh and I separated for awhile. We were having some bad times, but he was transferred due to his job. It took four months, we spoke every day and really talked! Not about bills, not about kids, but just about what we were thinking. He missed us and moved back home. IT can work.
    Lesli

    Answer by Lesli at 2:14 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

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